Live from the Barclays Center

The camera pans to the announce team.

	Welcome to another exciting edition of Turmoil.
	The road to Savage Lands continues!

Motherf*cker of the Year, OCW Hall of Famer Leonheart’s theme song hits the PA and the crowd goes wild with support for one Britain’s favorite sons. However, the former Mr. Valentine doesn’t enter. Instead, the two most powerful, handsome, talented sons of b*tches in OCW history, Dennis Black and Gentleman Jack make their way out instead.

The crowd quickly catches on and begins to fill the air with boos. Jack waves to the crowd like a pretty princess while Dennis just has his normal, resting asshole face on. The two men enter the ring after telling a fat teenage girl at ringside to try bulimia. Don’t be mad at them, society did this. 

Jack: You know champ, I don't know how you do it. You haven't lost a match in what? Years now? How do you deal with it?

Dennis: Well, it’s simple. It’s not about genetics. Being related to the boss, or even sucking up to him like most of the Hall of Famers. It’s about hard work and training to be the best. Okay i’m being dishonest. I was born the best, Jack. I’m a gift from god!

Jack: No not that. I get that. What I'm talking about is the boredom. We've brought this show to its knees in what? Two weeks? Three? Bad short memory.

Dennis: The only thing that has gone to their knees faster is Leon’s wife. And where IS Leon these days, Mr. General Manager?

Jack: It doesn't matter. What matters is that champ, while the past few weeks have been a blast... I'm bored. Like super bored. Watching Mugen program a vcr bored. Asking a whore to shove weird things up my ass bored.

Both of Dennis’s brows raise. 

Dennis: ....up your ass?

Jack: It's more elastic than you'd think Dennis. My point being, we've laid waste to this show so quickly there's nothing much left to do.

Dennis: Our work isn’t done. Revolution Inc. still exists. Though not for long. First, we got rid of Dustin. And tonight? Well...you’re going to send Abbot to unemployment. 

Jack: Sure, beating our former friend is going to fun, but for what? Ten minutes? Fifteen if he's lucky? Twenty if he's not? Then what am I going to? I went toe to toe with Nate Ortiz and didn't back down! What else is there to do? Gentleman Jack wept for there were no more worlds to conquer...

Dennis: If anyone deserves a Hall of Fame ring before I do, i would say it’s you. Nothing left for you to do.

Jack: Maybe I should just retire....

Dennis: Well...that Wes guy DID get very lucky against you in a fluke win.

Jack: You're right! Maybe making the best pure wrestler in OCW history will cure my E.D.

Dennis: I...uh. E.D?

Jack: Yeah man, I'm so bored I can't get hard. But if anyone can get me hard again it's Wes Pepperton!

Dennis: Let’s forget about Wes. Focus on taking out another member of Revolution Inc. 

Jack: I can't fight Seb with a softie. No, when I face Seb I have to be rock hard. Anything else would be undignified!

Dennis: I’ve heard rumors ED has to be that way for his matches as well. But then again, he’s a racist. Do you REALLY want to be like that? A racist? Are you racist Jack?!

Jack: It's 2017, what you call a hate crime I call love. Speaking of hate crimes, hi Mo'Cream! I'll see you Monday night! Or tuesday. Or whenever Riot is. Again, short term memory thing....

Dennis: Sometimes Wednesday if the show is delayed because of rain. 

Dennis and Jack briefly look to the camera.

Jack: You’re right champ, my boredom and erections aren’t your problems. What is your problem is we need a new blood boy, and trust me, they ain't cheap! I think we may have to have another round of cuts….

Dennis side steps a bucket of popcorn and a soda that were thrown into the ring before taking a walk around the ring. 

Dennis: We could always cut into the pay of the women? Who cares about Betty Ford, Crazy Daisy, Sophia...Madison. 

Jack: It’s true, they’re barely people…

Over the sound system we hear a voice with a thick southern accent.

???: Whoa whoa whoa. 

Jackson Montgomery saunters out from behind the curtain and onto the stage. He’s wearing red leather pants, snake skin boots and his latest shirt, which can be found on hausofhoot.com, that has Redneck Maharaja splashed across it with the Texas flag mixed in. The crowd cheers somewhat loudly at the Backwoods Badass, who waves his hands at them in an effort to quiet them down.

Jackson: Dennis, look bud. What you’ve been doing as of late has got to stop. I mean, cmon. You and this half a butt puppet Jack have fired damn near the whole mid card!

Jack: Well not everyone...You’re still he…

Jackson: EH! You speak when you’re spoken to you ball juggling cumquat. Speak out of line again and I’ll put you outside with the rest of the swine. Now, you two fart boxes have fired Dustin, Joe, the Hattons, which, for real, who let them in here? You even got rid of Loki and the way I see it (Jackson looks at his Dale Earnhardt watch) it’s time to shut this down!

The crowd explodes with cheers as Jack tells everyone to shut up. Dennis on the other hand is standing firm at the ropes staring right at Jackson. 

Jackson: Dennis, what has happened to the biggest underdog in OCW? What happened to the man that wanted Turmoil to change for the better? I’ll tell you what happened. You got laid! Dennis, me and the boys in the back were overwhelmed with joy when we heard you finally got your shriveled ghost pepper wet. We couldn’t have been happier for you but then something happened. You changed. You, all of a sudden, became the biggest cunt this business has ever seen and I damn sure ain’t talkin’ about my good friend Eerie Sunshine!

Jackson: Listen boy. You got laid, good for you. You got laid...ONCE! You finally popped your cherry and then you think you’re Versus’ gift to OCW? Look what you did to Madison! You messed her up so bad, she came to me for help! Speaking of, she was a bit irritated when I showed up to help with her with her stuff. She said the Prius Pummler wasn’t big enough! I’ve had my cousins and sisters in that thing, trust me, it’s big enough!


Jackson: I’m getting off track here. My point is this. Dennis, you’re getting too big for your britches and while we may have had this conversation before about your TV title, I wasn’t finished talking. I’m coming back stronger, faster, more country than ever and this time, I’m coming for the World title! I was the first one who truly earned that belt and after I, mistakenly, pissed off Malu and lost it, I’ve been doing everything I can to get it back. So, you know...give it to me.

Jackson sticks his hand out waiting for a retort. Dennis takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. After many exhales, the Turmoil Champion opens them again. 

Dennis: You have...absolutely...no chance in hell of ‘ever’ getting a shot at the most prestigious Championship in the wrestling world. This isn’t the same title that Tank stained with beer and the semen of the of the previous show runners. This isn’t the same belt that Jimmy Henry held for a week before you took it from him. 
Dennis: This title around my waist is culmination of -

Jack: No! Dennis he’s right! Maybe watching you beat an inbred fascist within an inch of his life will get me hard! That’s a legit, by the book, hate crime! I’m so down! Let’s do this! Race war! Race war everybody! It’s going down!

Dennis: What?! NO! Have you lost your mind?!

Jack: Jesus calm down! It’s not like that toothless piece of trash can stop you.

Jackson tries to reply but Jack has his mic shut off.

Jack: Yeah see what happens when you tell the boss to shut up? And you called me a kumquat! That’s MY WORD asshole! Side note, if you’re hillbilly savior had any balls he’d walk down here and stop us. But of course if you lay a hand on me or my best friend here in anything but a sanctioned OCW match and I’ll fire you for cause. That means no more PBR or Elvis collectible dishware. 

Dennis sighs in relief. 

Jack: I tell ya what though jizz cracker. Since you clearly want to lay your hands on somebody I’ll give you a chance. Tonight, in the main of event of Dennis Black and Gentleman Jack present Turmoil, Jackson “Two Teeth” Montgomery against one of the most savage men ever allowed to compete inside an OCW ring…. TOBIN FROST!

Jack: And since we’re in such a generous mood. If by some freak chance you defy all the odds, all the wisdom, if you defy physics itself and somehow beat Tobin Frost, then you can have a shot at the Champion of Champions himself, Mr. Dennis Black, at Savage Lands.

Dennis: Oh, our honorable General Manager has a bad memory. So I'll add in the most important detail. There are no handout here, Jackson. This ain't Riot. Champions and Challengers earn what they get. So if you lose? WHEN you lose? You'll earn a one way ticket to the unemployment line right beside Dustin and Seb!

Jack: Then we can get our blood boy! It’s a win win! 

Our scene comes to an end as Dennis and Jack argue over the cost of blood boy while Jackson looks on in muted disgust.

	Oh my, what a start to tonight.
	It is a new adventure every week!

	We start off the action with two rookies.
	Who are they again?

Flash Riley vs Jett Draven

The camera pans to the announce team.

	We know their names now.
	Boy do we ever.

The scene opens on Wrex trying to work his way into the Future Investment briefcase with a screw driver.

Wrex Why won't this piece of sh*t open!

He tries slamming his fist down on the handle to brute force it open.

Jim Black What are you doing?

Wrex What does it look like?

Jim Black I don't think a screwdriver is going to open it.

Wrex You got a better idea?

Jim Black You would probably need something heavier tha- why am I giving you ideas?

Wrex reaches into a small pile of random crap next to him and brings up a hammer hitting the case over and over

Wrex It SMACK Isnt SMACK working.

In a last ditch effort he brings the hammer down with all his might, only managing to bounce it off the case, the hammer slides out off his hands shooting off in a random direction.

Jim Black You have fun with this, remember your match with Shepard.

Wrex Huh? Yeah sure whatever.

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