Live from the Barclays Center

The camera pans to the announce team.

	Hello and welcome to Turmoil 165.
	Man this heat is killing me.

	It's extremely warm out today.
	Someone get that air con working over here will ya!

We now go backstage where Turmoil GM Ron Regan is sitting behind his desk, a look of worry etched across his face. Poor ol Ron doesn't look like he's slept in a week. His clothes are messy, his eyes bloodshot, cocaine residue litters his desk. A knock at the door startles our beloved GM who's already jumpy to say the least.

Regan: Who is it?! I'm busy here!

???: Well puddin it certainly ain't the Blowjob Queen of West Memphis.

Regan: Oh god no...

Ron takes a bump of delicious nose clams and reaches for a revolver as the door opens. Standing in the doorway are Mr. Regan's worst nightmare, Dennis Black and Gentleman Jack. Ron points the gun at the two men but due to a lack of sleep, a heart condition, drug abuse, and shot nerves, he can't hold the gun straight.

Jack: Cocaine and handguns, nice! Damn Ron I didn't know we we're partying old school! Dennis, you haven't lived until you've been to Ron Regan coke and handgun party!

Dennis: I think I'll pass on the whole drugs and guns things. Gotta stay sober, as the new face of the company and all.

Jack: Company man, that's why he's beloved.

Regan: What are you doing in my office?

Jack: First you point a gun at your dear friend and your future triple crown winner, next you don't offer us any blow, and now the attitude? What happened to you man?

Dennis: This is not the same man who opened our season by presenting me with a new title. This...this man is a failure. A shell of his former self. Shameful.

Jack: Wow, champ I have to apologize. I thought Ron here knew the score. That's my bad. That one's on me. One hundred percent right here. You know what? Let me rectify this for us. Ron you just stay right there pissing yourself, ok?

Jack walks into the office and pulls out two chairs, offering one to the great Dennis Black. The two men sit down, Dennis immediately putting his championship winning feet on Mr. Regan's desk while the GM still holds a revolver.

Jack: See Ron, manners aren't hard. Do you know how much money Dennis makes for you? You have to treat him with a little class! Now will you put that thing away before you shoot your eye out? Remember that time in Laos you accidentally shot that old man in the nutsack? You were always a terrible shot, especially when you've been drinking.

Jack takes the gun from the bewildered Mr. Regan before he realizes what's happened.

Jack: So look, we had this whole grand presentation planned out for you. It was really something special.

Dennis: There was even a powerpoint presentation. Jack wanted to use cardboard, but I felt you deserved better. I respect you that much, Mr. Regan.

Jack: But then we realized, why are we going to all this trouble? We've already won!

Regan: What are you talking about?

Dennis pulls out a folder of pictures of Ron's beloved daughter Alex tied up god knows where while Jack's personal fixer, Luthor Briggs, and a masked woman are shown mocking and torturing poor Ms. Robinson.

Jack: Now I know you've had a rocky relationship with your daughter and all, but she is your daughter Ronny. So you can either do this the easy way, or you can do it the hard way.

Regan: You sick bastards, I’ll kill you!

Jack laughs extremely loud, almost losing control.

Jack: Well it’s a good thing I have the gun then huh?!

Dennis: Regan, this could have been avoidable. If you had just done your job and put me in the main event of Wrestlution Eleven, I could have saved your job for at least three more months. But, you failed me. You failed Turmoil…

Dennis: Now then, on to business. Jack has a proposal for you. An offer that you can't refuse.

Jack slides a binder of documents over to Mr. Regan. Ron begins to flip through them, his eyes growing wide.

Regan: But why?? You two don’t even like each other! You’ve been at each other’s throats for months! Jack, you wrote love letters to Madison! I saw them!

Jack: Yeah thanks for releasing those to the public by the way. Dennis said it was so raunchy no self respecting company would release it, but I said don’t count out ol Ron.

Regan: You mean? You two? You?

Jack (in a mocking voice): You mean? You guys are together? You two? Oh nooo!!!

Dennis: Who do you think wanted him in Revolution Inc. so badly? This guy. I mean...sure, he went above and beyond the call of duty by killing someone...sort of. But I blame Leon for that, not Jack.

Jack: I blame Versus’s Filipino wife.

Dennis: Who said she was Filipino?

Jack: I just assumed.

Dennis: That’s racist.

Jack: No it’s not. If I said Filipinos all smell bad, that’s racist. Saying somebody is Filipino isn’t racist.

Dennis: I guess, but it’s a fine line.

Jack: You’re a bad guy now, you don’t have to worry about it.

Dennis: Oh yeah! Filipinos smell funny!

Jack and Dennis high five as Regan stares at them in amazement.

Jack: C'mon did anybody really believe we’d turn on each other? I’m a scumbag Ronnie! I’m lower than low! Did you really think I’d ever turn on the most dangerous man in OCW history? A man who hasn’t lost a match in over a year?! How stupid do you think I am?!

Jack: I mean, how many times did we stand in your ring saying we’re taking over? Did you think we were joking?

Regan: So this is it? After everything I’ve given to this company? You’re just going to take it all away?

Jack: Oh this is it sunshine. You’ve got two choices now. You can either sign over control of Turmoil to Dennis and myself, or I let Luther off his leash. If you can’t tell, I haven’t had him fixed. It’d be a shame if he humped your pretty daughter’s leg. And how would Leon feel?

Dennis looks down at his imaginary watch before looking back up to Regan.

Dennis: I'm going to need you to hurry that up, Regan. Jack’s first order of business is negotiating my new contract. I just may go down as the highest paid Champion in OCW ‘history’. If it takes Jack cutting the pay in half of guys like Wrex, Solomon, and Shepard to make that happen to keep me on Turmoil? Well he's gonna do it. That's what a GOOD boss does.

Jack: See? I need to go talk to the jews in accounting asap so let’s hurry this along.

Regan: Fine, you want to run this circus? Be my guest. It's killing me anyway. Besides I could do with a vacation. Alex may be the worst daughter a man could have but she's still my blood. She doesn't deserve this, nobody does... You give me your word she won't be hurt?

Jack: What? You want our word? Is that really going to make you feel better? I mean we just admitted to lying to the entire company for a better part of a year here…. But hey whatever floats your boat Ronald. You have our word. Now sign the papers before we lose our patience.

Regan, hoping to just get it over with, quickly flips through and signs the paperwork, making Gentleman Jack the new General Manager of Turmoil. Dennis stands and offers his hand to Regan.

Dennis: I'm not without a heart. I'll give you five minutes to clean out your things.

The former General Manager begins to collect himself and his belongings as GM Jack and Dennis Black begin to leave. Before exiting, the rug catches Jack’s eye.

Jack: Do you like this rug?

Dennis unzips his pants and lets the little champion loose, pissing all over the rug.

Jack: I didn’t either.

Regan: Alex and Leon gave me that rug as a Father’s Day present. You think you're the first person to piss on it? You can keep it.

Dennis: Classy till the end.

Regan finishes packing as he makes his way towards the door.

Regan: Goodbye Turmoil.

Gentleman Jack waves Regan out.

Regan: God help you all.

Jack goes to his new desk and pushes down the call button to reach his new secretary.

Jack: Brenda, a pack of wild dogs just pissed all over my floor, can you send the janitor in?

Some Poor Woman Who’s Now Named Brenda: Certainly sir.

A moment passes and then the janitor, who bears a striking resemblance to former OCW jobber Tank enters Jack’s new office to remove the hideous, piss stained rug. Jack and Dennis both glance at each other in amazement. Realizing who it is, Dennis kicks the mop out of the man’s hands.

Dennis: Your new boss wants you to clean it up with your shirt.

Guy who looks like Tank: But-

Dennis: The help shouldn't speak, they're only spoken to.

Tank removes his janitor’s shirt, revealing his gross figure. He gets on his hands and knees and begins to wipe up the Championship urine. Suddenly, the bottom off Dennis’s boot comes crashing down on Tank’s head, forcing him into the urine...face first.

Dennis: That's championship piss! Drink it in, maaaaaaaan!

Jack conjures up two glasses of champagne from god knows where through the magic of television. Our scene comes to an end as the new GM and the most decorated man in OCW toast champagne to their success while a fat man drinks piss.

The camera pans to the announce team.

	Oh S**T is about to get real with them two in charge.
	This is great!

Jackie Manitoba

vs

Jett Draven

The camera pans to the announce team.

	Well I'll be damned.
	I think I am going to melt soon.

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