San Fran, Cali.
Good evening Ladies and Germs!
Welcome to Riot Episode 349!
||We are one week away from the 350th Episode of OCW Riot, and tonight we deal with the fallout of End Games... its going to be a hell of a show partner...
Yes. Betterness. WORLD CHAMPEEN.
Confetti and multi-colored balloons fall from the ceiling, Roofus walks to the other side of the ring to grab Tibby a mic. Roofus then climbs in the ring, tripping on the bottom rope. As he trips the mic slides directly in front of the newly crowned World Champ. Tibby looks at the mic, then the crowd, then Roofus. Obviously he doesn't expect to have to kneel down to pick up the mic, so he waits till Roofus recovers to hand it his way. The crowd continues to go bonkers, some are chanting Betterness, others are shouting "Parker's Gonna Kill You". He patiently waits for the crowd to simmer before addressing his former Dragonflies.
Dupree: I surely thought there would be at least one moment of silence for your fallen Scumbag...
He pauses to let that resonate with the audience.
Dupree: No sir, you just continue on with your insignificant little lives, cheering and booing as if your the end all be all. But sadly your not, your soulless parasites who line up by the thousand to see someone gorgeous like me break his neck for your senseless enjoyment...
Dupree: So here's a fact for your forehead...OMG killed, eradicated, decimated, BETTER BOMBED the career of your beloved neanderthal, you should shut your fat faces and respect it's death with a moment of silence.
Tibby and Roofus bow their heads as the crowd still roars on.
Dupree: Now that we've officially buried Parker Stevens, I would like to say this victory can only be classified as bitter sweetness. MY HERO, and True Owner of OCW is still imprisoned, he can't rejoice in celebration with me. Not to mention OUR Villain Hideto Matsuda has also been captured and imprisoned...
Dupree: But every dark cloud has a silver lining...and the fact of the matter is....I'm the NEW OCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!
Tibby raises the world title in the air as the crowd boos and begin to throw things into the ring.
Dupree: None of you believed me when I said I would recapture what was rightfully mine. Granted it took me longer than desired, but nonetheless I've proved why I define Pure Betterness!
Dupree: Just looking at me hold this title...is a gigantic TOLD YOU SO, isn't it?
He cracks his classic half smile and struts around the ring, gets on the top rope, throws up a pair of scumbags for the fans in attendance.
Dupree: Now that I've got the preliminary stuff out the way down to business...MY HERO, YOUR HERO, OUR HERO...was almost free. It's rumored a handful of vigilantes tried to break him out of Mourning Wood Correctional last Saturday.
Under his breath you hear Tibby murmur, "Damn Persians", before continuing.
Dupree: I don't know who those brave and courageous men and women were, but they smart enough to understand what he means to OCW, what he means to wrestling...better yet, what he means to the whole goddamn WORLD!!!
Tibby begins to take off his suit jacket and shirt, bearing his "Free My Hero" t-shirt.
Dupree: You see this shirt, I don't need to wear this but I do. I wonder if Tiffany Ortiz-Sensation is wearing one right now...I can promise you she isn't, she doesn't care about her father, she doesn't care about OCW, all she cares about is the next pair of Prada shoes she's going to buy off the back of my hard work...
The look in Tibby's face is dead serious and slightly delusional.
Dupree: For Christ sake she's the reason Hobotron is running things around here. It was all her doing, and where was MY HERO's Golden Boy of a son-in-law? Tiffany's legendary husband, who put this company on the map, where is he when his father is getting his reputation defiled and his freedom snatch away from him?
Dupree: I'll tell you where he is, he's absolutely, positively, freakin' NOWHERE! Neither him or his deranged wife have yet to visit their own father, they have yet to reply to any of his letters. They have officially cut him off, but guess who goes to visit, guess who takes his collect calls, guess who replies to his letters?....OMG does...Betterness does!
Dupree: Even Roofus over there has went to see him. Odessa is constantly working on his appeal, trying to find legal ways to free OUR HERO. We nearly exhausted every resource and avenue trying to do what his natural blood should be doing...
Dupree: When OCW turned their backs on him, when his family deserted him, I was there. Not Tiffany Ortiz-Sensation, not Nate Ortiz, not a single one of you disgusting mongoloids... but me...Me and my OMG Family...because I'm the true Son of Sensation!
They erupt in a clusterheap of curses and jeers.
Dupree: Just look at me....
Tibby closes his eyes, and slowly spins absorbing the hatred and malice from the world.
Dupree: Now with that being said, I'm not able to share this grand celebration with MY HERO, but I did receive this short letter.
Security and staff at ringside start panicking as Tibby continues on.
Dupree: You should all be grateful you get to hear the words of a man who created everything you cherish about OCW...So shut your faces while I read...
Tibby clears his throat and fixes the frames on his sunglasses.
Dear Best Friend,
Sir, i'd like to say from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Sadly due to the "Pudding Incident" Life at Mourning Wood has become incredibly more difficult. I was sent to the Box, and forced to watch nothing but the Facts of Life. It got to the point where I was having sexual fantasies about a 3 Way with me Trudy and Misses Garret!!! Dark Times sir dark times indeed.
I am aware you as well as O.M.G tried to save me from this Racket Ball infested Hell Hole, and you would have been successful if it wasn't for those Pesky Persians. I hear Raj Khan is out now, hopefully he won't be an issue, but you never know so keep one Eye open he is a slippery bastard. I mean that literally, he was into Turkish Oil Wrestling, like that Guy in Street Fighter 4, kind of creepy seriously.
Anywho with the mixup at the facility they are currently holding Matsuda. They got him with the Latin Math Club. They won't let me speak to him, but I see him out in the yard sometimes spitting green mist during Quantum Calculus Club. That being said where the hell does he get that green mist? thinking about it, does he hid it in his...Oh god why..... Matsuda did manage to wave at me once during shift change, right before he Super Kicked the whiteboard in the teaching center down.
Hopefully he is out soon, as the Jewish Brotherhood is eyeing him!
Before I go I wanted to say congratulations. YOU DID IT!. Even though that flabby, greasy, nogoodnick Guy Fausto will try to take credit for your Betterness. YOU DID IT, you seized the day! And you literally knocked the piss out of Paula PoundPooPugh!
My only wish is that I could have been there to personally spit in Parker's face. But alas I am locked up and they wont let me out : ( <--- That is a sad face, it is difficult for me to draw in Crayon I apologize.
Keep the faith brother, with that OCW World Betterness around your waist you are now the #1 Target for every thirsty mutt in this company. And don't think for one second that That LARDKING, Guy isn't going to attempt to target your betterness. He is a fat, lonely, loveless, friendless, boring, greasy, sloppy, stupid looking Slug of a human. He will take credit for what you did, and he will just as quickly Future's Unlimited Corporation you in the ass if you let him.
And also watch out for....
Before Dupree can finish his mic is cut off and is given the signal for a commercial break. He goes livid, slams the mic on the ground and starts shouting before the camera fades to an Old Spice Commercial.
We come back from commercial as OCW's forgotten guy Marley stands in the center of the ring as his music begins to subside. The cameraman rolls a mic into the ring as Marley soaks up the cheers. He picks up the mic and raises it to his mouth as the cheers start to fade.
Marley: WHHAAA GWAANNN its ya guy Jookie Marley, fresh outta the can. I know ya forgot about me but that guys back like I left my car keys. Right after my Lution match I got escorted out of the arena because of the incident at Ambition. For those of you that dont remember what Im talking about...
Marley points toward the Titantron as the footage of the final ambition of June starts to play. In the footage Marley is seen beating up random OCW Officials and then attacking Djesus Djones.
Marley: All of that just to try to get my EX belt back only to lose it at Wrestlution to a white Anderson Silva. Then get escorted out of the arena by the Police right after the match. They wouldnt even let me change out of my attire. I still didnt even get the chance to shave the Rick Ross beard.
Marley walks over to the corner and sits on the top turnbuckle.
Marley: Those two months in jail made me look at how my career is turning out, and made me gain a couple of pounds. With the road Im heading down I will never be sitting in a tux at a OCW Hall of Fame Ceremony waiting to accept my award and give a speech. My face will never be on a End Games poster. So basically what Im saying is...
Marley hops off of the turnbuckle.
Marley: ...Im ready to take my place back at the top of the EX Division even if it means I have to start back at the bottom. EVEN IF IT MEANS I'LL ONLY GET TO DO HOUSE SHOWS TO PROVE MYSELF. EVEN IF IT MEANS I'LL HAVE TO BE A MANAGER. The three time three time three time EX Champ is back and ready to rumble.
Marley: Now can you dig that like a shovel GUY!
Marley drops the mic in the middle of the ring and climbs the turnbuckle. He does his 3x celebration as the arena erupts into 3x chants. The screen fades to black.
Marley is back... and the fans seem happy about it.
How can he call himself THAT guy? He isn't THAT guy... Henceforth he is "A Guy". There is a guy in the ring. Not to be confused with Guy Fausto... He'll be in the ring soon right?
EX DIVISION MADNESS!
Ace Angel vs Hiro Masayoshi vs Ghede
Mr Richard Blood General Manager Extraordinaire