Good evening Ladies and Germs!
Welcome to Riot Episode 346!
||Tonight we are live from Atlantic City, New Jersey... you feeling lucky tonight partner?
I'm feeling infected. A homeless man coughed on me while I was buying coffee. This place is disgusting.
We are inside the illustrious and beautiful Bally's Casino and Hotel located on the luxurious Park Place and Boardwalk Avenue here in Atlantic City. As the camera pans around the casino, showing various gamblers, performers, tourists and employees. The camera then bursts through two large doors into a gigantic conference room.
There's a huge banner covering half the room that reads "DIE GUY DIE", and a even larger banner spanning the entire main stage that reads "FREE OUR HERO". Various OMG PPV posters also litter the walls of the conference room. A huge balloon replica of the Ex-Division title is seen floating by.
Fans, reporters, journalists and bloggers alike crowd the large conference room. A OMG decorated stage, with podium faces their direction. On the stage is the entire Overness Meets Greatness Alliance. We have the Ultimate Submissionist, Mustard King of Betterness Tiberius Dupree seated next to the New Permenant Ex-Division Champion, and OUR VILLAIN, Hideto Matsuda, and of course seated next to him is The Dim-Hawked Menace of Nesquehoning, Dimsmore.
Next to Dimsmore is the beautiful Lacey Love, and surrounding her is Junico "Good Ol'JR" Ross, Jurai "The King" Lawyler, Matsuda's Japanese Announcement Team. Sitting next to her hubby is Minami, Matsuda's mega pop singer girlfriend. To the far end sits Roofus Ruckusington The THOID, Dupree's useless bodyguard. The newest and self proclaimed Smartest Wrestler In The World, Odessa Ebony rises from her seat makes her way to the podium...
Odessa Ebony: The following statement represents all members, and associates incorporated within the conglomerate known as Overness Meets Greatness...
Odessa takes a sip from the small glass of water on the podium...
Odessa Ebony: And I quote... "The world used to be a better place, children used to be able to play parks without parental supervision. Women acted like women, and men acted like men, well with the exception of Paul Pugh of course...
Tibby bursts out laughing, completely over doing it.
Odessa Ebony: Things were as they should be, but see that has all changed. It changed when "OUR HERO" Jaysin Sensation was incarcerated at the hands of the incorrigable Guy Fausto...
She pushes up her designer frames.
Odessa Ebony: Every single one of you are also responsible for his downfall...
She points to everyone, including you at home watching.
Odessa Ebony: But every single one of us will be responsible for his retribution...
The camera pans across, showing every member of OMG, ending with the Ambition Originals.
Odessa Ebony: Overness Meets Greatness now stands as a completely united front, furthermore dedicating all our finances and resources to emancipating OUR HERO by any means necessary from the custody of the state.
Odessa Ebony: We are also declaring a full siege WAR on the repulsive, disgustingly disfigured, intellectually short-sided, visually impaired, overly nerd-sized fecal matter, known as Guy Fausto.
She pauses for a second to raise her frames again.
Odessa Ebony: Guy, the only thing that will help your situation is if you play dead like Leonheart, and never return until it's time to job to a overrated scumbag.
Odessa Ebony: Only a full surrender will suffice, that or your head on a spike outside our headquarters, Guy Fausto, THIS IS WAR!"...End quote.
Every member of OMG stands and does their respective taunts as the camera pans backwards as swarms of security rush through, pushing back the crowds of the OMG Press core. Still bearing his white suit and a warm smile on his face Guy Fausto stands in the center of them all.
Fausto: "Woah, woah, WOAH, guys. War? Are we really already to this? I've had the reins of the company for only one week! War!? Can't you give peace a chance? Do I have to start singing?"
Odessa: "SURRENDER NOW, GUY! BRING BACK OUR HERO!"
Fausto: "When has ever demanding surrender out of the blue worked? You're going to have to do something like drop a bomb on me, put me in checkmate, or possibly reveal some massive scandal about me and an underaged pool boy."
Fausto grins, proud of himself.
Fausto: "Don't even try to look for the last one. I'll have you know I only like underaged pool girls...wait...No. I only like pool girls who are of legal age of consent! In fact, if you don't have wrinkles, I don't want to see you! Guy Fausto doesn't get into scandals is what I'm getting at!"
Odessa: "How the hell did you even find us? This isn't even an OCW Sanctioned Press Conference!"
Fausto: "Correction. The company is paid for it due to the ridiculous allowances that Sensation had allowed for...favored talent. Such as the likes of you. But I still see the credit card charges as they go through, and it lead me right to you. Let me offer the olive branch, before you take it and break it because you are angry children who can't understand Mommy is a bad man."
Fausto: "I'm aware a lot of people aren't taking kindly to my hostile takeover of the company. You fine individuals, Parker Stevens...some other people who don't matter. But I digress. I'm here to offer you all gifts! Wonderful wonderful gifts! Like...an opportunity at the OCW Championship!"
Fausto: "Despite your continued failings to defeat Parker, I'm going to grant both Dimmy and Tibby both one last chance to take the title. Tonight, the OMG-Powers Explode! You'll punch one another until one of you stops getting up, the winner will take on Parker at End Games. And I know Parker too, is angry at me...because he's Parker and angry at everyone mainly, or just can't get over some losses from four years ago. Who knows. But point is, I'm going to let him pick his opponent too... because he'll be the Special Guest Referee!"
Fausto throws up an arm, expecting a cheap pop. He looks around the room, seeing it full of hostile people who hate him and want him to die.
Fausto: "Come on security guys, I wanted a cheap pop!"
They unenthusiastically cheer.
Fausto: "I'm going to dock your pay for lack of enthusiasm. And There's other things I'm going to do tonight. Matsuda..ey...? Matty? Sudey? I can't figure out a childlike diminutive ending in y for your name. I don't have anything particularly nice for you, just some news. Your opponent, Sean McGee, won't be here tonight. Apparently in his crazed frenzy at Damnation, Sensation passed a bunch of new regulations for OCW competition. One of them was a bicep size limit, and the OCW trainers just noticed it's on the books. I'm working my hardest to repeal it, but until I can get it off the books, Sean McGee is banned from competition. So, Matsudy needs a new opponent...Hmm..."
Fausto rubs his chin, and peers through the people staring daggers at him, and stops at the one person not staring daggers at him.
Fausto: "Oh yes... there's a worthy opponent. That size, that girth shows he has more than adequete strength for competition. That look on his face. It reminds me of the killer instinct I had as a hobo. God, unassuming, no one would expect it...oh my. This'll be his greatest challenge yet, I don't know why we don't have this guy competing more often. It's probably because of how terrifying he is, if I had any bet. What's his name again..."
Fausto scratches his head.
Fausto: "Ah! That's right. Roofus. Tonight, in that very ring, we will have Roofus vs. Matsuda For the EX Championship! Tremble, Matsuda, I'm afraid for you tonight, because that man bears the face of a stone cold killer."
Odessa: "...Roofus is too fat to compete for the EX Championship!"
Fausto: "...Oh, well, dammit. I guess it'll be just a normal match then. You win this round....for now..."
Fausto sulks away from the conference room, security detail following him along the way, unenthusiastic about their recently docked pay.
K.Dangelo in the weight room before the handicap match, there is a bottle of buff blasters sitting on the counter .K.Dangelo is doing curls as Jim Black walks in and immediately sees the bottle of buff blasters and looks shocked
Jim Black : Wow I'm totally surprised that you are using buff blasters .Thought you couldn't stand that guy .
K.Dangelo drops the weights
K.Dangelo : Na The Alpha Male has no love for that puffed up fool just steroids with this sissy's face on it .Hopefully kids won't get hooked on this crack .
Jim Black : Why do you have a bottle here then ?
K.Dangelo : Mr.Dorien Arnaud .He owns 30% of this crap .The Alpha told Arnaud he was wasting his time and money but when you have as much as he does guess you can waste a little pocket change. As for me I won't be using that stuff.
Jim Black : What about last week's results? I know it can't sit well with you.
K.Dangelo : The Alpha doesn't get shocked by these thirsty bums around here. I mean look this supposed champ got whooped by myself and Raze and took the low road. He will get his and taking that NA title will break his juiced up heart.
K.Dangelo : That wasn't the only thirsty chump this past week, Lil Trance did the same exact thing. This guy is supposed to be the #1 contender and with tactics like that The Alpha doesn't need to fight dirty to win.
Jim Black : Well the contenders for the NA title are growing by the day. There is Trance, Mugen, Raze, Tobin and yourself. How are you gonna get a shot?
??: Thought I heard my name!
Jim Black turns and sees K.Dangelo's partner for the Handicap Match tonight approach, Justin Raze. K.Dangelo looks annoyed, but Raze quickly reacts.
Raze: Don't mind me KD, continue.
K.Dangelo : Can Mugen even pronounce North American champion? Raze's thirst will soon dry out. Trance, well after tonight he won't be in any condition to go after anything after tonight's match.Also Arnaud remembered what happened to me in my first match tonight is a little payback.
Jim Black : Really what and hat about Tobin Frost ?
K.Dangelo : Just listen for it ,that lil boy can't handle The Alpha. I've destroyed him and have no problem with doing it again to become a contender. I have nothing but respect for the guy but he's at the point of losing it. His focus needs to be Spoonman, a great ex North American champion.
K.Dangelo : Soon I'll be the fan's choice. The Alpha will prove and show that contenders and champions change by the show but The Alpha will never change!
Jim Black : K.Dangelo, thanks for the word and now Raze if you have a moment, we would like to get your view on tonight's match. How do you feel about teaming with a usual opponent of your's? And how do you feel about last week after what happened and the contendership was stolen from you?
Raze: Well frankly I'm teaming with him because that's how it goes tonight. Tonight we are a team, as simple as that and then the minute that match is over we go back to being opponents because ultimately were both trying to shoot for the goal of being the best in this business, and unfortunately, only one person can have that.
KD nods in approval as Raze continues his interview.
Raze: As far as last weeks results, I've moved on from it. I've moved on from Jacob Trance's tactics and what he will do to win. I've moved on from the fact that he can't do any real work himself to earn something, I've accepted that. In retrospect I have moved my focus on to someone that will not back down from a challenge and will actually fight and not slip in at the right moment.
Jim Black: But Sean McGee did the exact same ta...
Raze: No, I'm not talking about Sean McGee.
Jim Black: Then...who are you talking about?
Raze looks directly into the camera.
Raze: Parker Stevens. And if you wanna hear more, I'll be on the Clark hour tonight and I'll be talking about it then so as far as more questions go, I'm done here Jim.
Raze walks past Jim and shortly K.Dangelo follows after Raze, heading to the arena for their match.
Boy done lost his mind...
Sing about him Scaggs... he's dying of thirst.