Kassidy Hayes is riffling through his bags, pulling out his gear, visually frustrated, he grabs the bag and flips it over, spilling out the content. Kass is just moving all his stuff around trying to find something.
Kassidy: Where the hell is it? it was in this bag, it was here.
Tiberius Octavian Dupree, Your Beloved Kneesus Christ, walks up to the doorway with a smirk on his face.
Dupree: If you’re looking for your Make-Up Kit for Dermies, it’s at the bottom of Lake St. Clair. There’s no need to hide your ugly face behind even uglier face paint now...
Dupree: Let the world see your naked ugliness, let them shame you. Let them throw rocks and spit on you like the unbelievable filth you are!
Kassidy: Face paint or not, at least I don’t look like a maple sucking ladyboy.
Dupree: Really, I saw that Natural Harvest Cookbook Doug gave you, I made sure not to touch the disgusting thing. You better not breathe on me out there….I swear...
Kass mumbles to himself…”f****** Baker.”
Kassidy: Whatever tonight I will embarrass you again like I’ve been doing for weeks. I will smack that new wig off your head, just like I did the last one. Maybe this one I’ll light on fire instead….
Kassidy gets up in Tibby’s face, their both looking pretty smug about tonight despite their circumstances as the stare each other down. The camera fades with Tibby finally walking away from a confident Kass.
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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Those 2 are going to kill each other! |
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You don't mess with a man's betterness! |
DRAGO CESAR vs ????????
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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He just sent a message to the entire OCW Lockeroom! |
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Good god! |
We are backstage where the Butcher has one of the OCW Employees pinned up against a wall. Leon has the necromicon in hand as he looks like he is controlling the Butcher.
Leon: "I wont ask you again!"
The man pinned up against the wall is terrified.
Leon: "Where is GOD???"
OCW Employee: "I... I don't know. Please don't hurt me. I have a family."
Leon: "I don't give a S**T about your family!"
The OCW employee begins to cry.
Leon: "Pathetic..."
Leon clicks his fingers and the Butcher launches the employee across the hallway into a crowd full of people.
Leon: "We're wasting our time here but I know one way of getting his attention. Let's go."
Leon and the Butcher make their way for the exit!
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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What gives! |
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He's on a mission! |
Scene opens with Versus at a very old computer, surrounded by cigarette smoke, farmers, 'dial up noises' and people taking selfies with their goats. Versus lights up a nicely rolled joint and begins to smoke as he waits to be connected to the internet.
Versus: I wish I never figured out this internets stuff. Dude...
Versus looks off to his left, where a man keeps bumping into him as he makes duck faces with his goat.
Versus: For real with the duck face? I mean, I get taking a picture with your pet, but duck lips ain't necessary.
Man: No pet. Wife.
Versus just stares blankly at the man for a solid minute.
Versus: What's your wife's name?
Man: Wife name Kambila.
Versus: No, your wife's name is goat...because she's a f*cking GOAT.
Man: SHE WIFE!
Versus: We're going down this road? For real? Ok, let's do this. First off, unless your name is "Baaaaaa" or "Blblbbllbblalalallblblbla" then she don't speak your language. Next up, let's see...IT'S A F*CKING ANIMAL!
Man: She make up...she pretty.
Versus: Oh dear holy father, please give me the strength not to shove a goat hoof up his remedial ass...
Suddenly a face pops up on his computer screen.
Madison: Versus?
Versus: Madison! First time I've ever been psyched to see that load target.
Madison: What? You're breaking up.
Versus: Whatever. Hey, is there any update on the passport situation? These people seem to think my visa's expired, and they won't let me on my flight out of here.
Madison: Oh...really? How do you like Tibetan food?
Versus: Yeah, they...wait...what did you just ask me?
Madison smirks and leans in to the screen.
Madison: I said, how do you like, Tibetan food?
Versus: Oh you sneaky suppository. But why? Keeping D'Angelo's boys blue for a year isn't enough, you gotta screw with the whole crew? Who do you think you are, Foxy Brown? Cuz with that flat ass, I'll tell you right now, you certainly are not. You're more of a poor man's Aunt Becky from Full House.
Madison: Bye Versus, see you never.
Versus: I hope your birth control fails, ass.
The video feed ends, and Versus pounds his hand on the table which scares the goat.
Man: You scare wife! You pay!
Versus looks to the sky: Not gonna give me the strength huh? Ok, well...here we go.
Versus kicks out the man's chair from under him and flips the goat over. He grabs a hoof and the camera pans to the crowd forming around them. You hear a lot of rustling sounds, then the sound of a man screaming and a joyous 'baaaaaa' from a goat as the crowd reacts with a loud "Ohhhhhhhhh" and the look of fear on most of their faces as the scene fades to black.
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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Can someone help this man!!! |
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HAHAHAHA |