OCWFED.COM PRESENTS TURMOIL

   



The camera pans to the announce team.

The saga continues.

When does it end.

Twice tonight had he been attacked by random wrestlers seeking to claim the bounty on him, and Bray was having no more of it. He snatched his bag out of his locker room and barged out of the the room, bumping into various people along the way. Eventually, he could see his car in sig-

Voice: Excuse me, Bray.

Bray: OH FOR F*** SAKE, WHO THE F-?

He dropped his bags and swung around with the swiftness to see a significantly younger, slimmer man approaching him. He was wearing a “Greek Jericho” t-shirt and jeans, so this calmed Bray’s suspicions that he was another bounty hunter.

Kid: I’m here to claim the bounty on you.

Bray: God dammit…. As a matter of fact wait, how old are you, kid?

Kid: I’m not a kid, sir. I’m 19.

Bray:...... And what’s your name, might I ask?

Kid: Koo, sir.

Bray: .......Koo?

Kid: Koo, sir. Kid Koo.

Bray: One more K word and we would’ve had a problem. How exactly do you think you can claim this… “bounty?”

Kid Koo: Simple! I deck you in the schnoz and I report to Queen Madison!

Bray: Uh huh… tell you what. You’ve got…. Something, kid. Dunno what it is, but hey. How about this. Next week, I’ll let you get the bounty!

Kid Koo: I can-.... Wait what?

Bray: That’s right! I’ll go to the ring, you’ll come out and I’ll turn myself into you. Not sure if the “bounty” requested I be unconscious or not but we’ll work that out.

Kid Koo: Well…. T-thanks Mr. Bray. I dunno-

Bray: Please, call me Bray.

Kid Koo: Okay! Thanks Bray! See you next week!

Kid Koo races back into the building while Bray picks up his bag.

Bray: See ya!........ [to himself] sucker.

 

The camera pans to the announce team.

Main Event time!

Girl Fight!

 

It's a Match!

Betty Ford vs Heather & Madison 

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The camera pans to the announce team.

.......................

...........................

The Xtron glows white, as the crowd focuses on the screen, and the camera pans and zooms into it. As, what is now apparent, clouds begin to dissipate, we can see Versus laying on his hammock, drinking a cocktail out of a coconut with a twisty straw, that doubles as glasses. Very la-di-da. Versus begins to speak in a very calm, relaxed tone.

Versus: As, I'm sure you can tell, I'm very nervous and angry. At Summercide, I decided that, even after getting dealt a surprising twist by D'Andre Burgerking, that I would at the very least, come out and say hello to my fans, the OCW universe, and maybe share in a prayer for all the wrestlers safety, and for an extended cutoff time for beers at the consession stands. Sadly, I didn't get to do that. Instead, I was intterupted by a very odd looking couple. Then, attacked by a man named...um...Ed?

Ed puts the Texas Hold 'em tournament he's watching on TV on pause...


Ed: Yeah?

Versus: That guy...at Summercide. 

Ed: Drago?

Versus: No, the one that attacked me, with the guy who looks like he's living in a black and white film...I'll call him Groucho and Wonder Woman and Luna Vachon's love child?

Ed: Dennis?

Versus: Who?

Ed: Duncan?

Versus: No.

Ed: Ohhhhh, yeah, his name is Lucas Crowe...or Crow...I don't know, the E maybe silent. 

Versus: Ok, good. Thanks, you can go back to your card counting. 

Ed: (turns his attention back to the TV) This guys gonna bust if he goes all in.

Versus: Lucas, my son. I wondered for a full week, why the hostility, why the aggression towards me? What have I done to you, or your mullet, that's made you so hostile? And then last week, you kinddaaaaa answered the question for me. According to you, we had a match 9 years ago, that I lost. And then you went on to tell me how it's my fault that you're not in the hall of fame, that you're not headlining PPV's. Could it be? Sure, maybe. If, for a millisecond, and I'm not being facetious here...if I remembered who in my good green Earth you are. 

Versus sits up, and takes his glasses off, but keeps the straw end in his mouth. Gotta keep hydrated...

Versus: I understand, you feel slighted. OCW is a temultuous place, unforgiving, it will chew you up and spit you out without thinking twice if you let it, and it seems to me, that you let it. I forgive you for attacking me, I've been beaten up by bigger, badder guys, at bigger and badder events, and hit by bigger and badder vehicles, so forgive me if I don't go out of my way to get angry about your attack...but the one major point here is. 

Versus puts his straw glasses back on.

Versus: I don't know who you are, or why you have minions, but as far as the...what is it...Sanctuary? Is that what you Groucho and Wonder Luna are calling yourselves? That's a great name, really, terrifying.

Versus sips through his straw, until you hear the gurgling of an empty cocunut. 

Versus: Let's rise above the anger and your 50 gallon barrel of jealousy, and we can meet, and chat. If you want, I'll sign your Eddie Vedder flannel. I have a fabric marker because I care. I feel better about this, don't you? Let's end this off with a prayer. 

Ed pauses the tournament, looks at Versus and bows his head.


Versus: 
Let the light of my sun, shine brightly onto the members of the Sanctuary,
For they need it, more than most...
and Groucho needs it more than literally anyone ever,
Let their misplaced rage fuel their work ethic, 
So they can last more than a match this time. 
Let their plates be full of lean meats, and fresh vegetables, 
For they look malnourished, missing pupils, snow white skin tones and the twitching.
Let Ed, order them some BlueApron.com meals to help, (Ed nods and makes a note)
Last of all, let's pray that this message is heard clearly, 
we certainly do not want the members of this group to knock too loudly on Heavens Door,
You wouldn't want me to answer.
Oooooohhhhhhh Kaaaayyyyyyyyy

Ed: Ooooooohhhh Kayyyyyyy.

Versus: Great...great...Ed, that guy go all in?

Ed: Yep, and just as I predicted, he busted. 

Versus: Poor guy.

The scene fades into the next segment....

Not Done Yet

 

 

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