Our scene opens outside in the middle of a snow storm near a quiet Tibetan monastery. As the blustery winds kick up the snow, we see a lone figure fighting nature, trudging slowly towards the steps. The man is dressed head to toe in heavy brown robes, appearing almost as a knock off Jedi.

Our view shifts inside where we see the monks who inhabit this monastery going about their daily lives. A small group is huddled around a fire in quiet contemplation, while others wander about dealing with the mundane tasks at hand.

Suddenly, without warning, the door is thrown open as a mystery man steps triumphantly inside. As he knocks snow off of his garb he forgets to close the door. A couple of the monks look at the stranger in disgust before speaking in broken English.

First Monk: Close da goddamn door!

Mystery Man: Aren't you guys supposed to take a vow of silence?

First Monk: It not twenty four seven asshole.

Second Monk: Close da door!!!!

Mystery Man: Jesus! Fine I'll close the door!

Second Monk: Dick weasel.

As he closes the door, our mystery man, who's face is still covered under a hood responds.

Mystery Man: Did you just call me a dick weasel?

Second Monk: If shoe fit, you dick weasel!

Everyone in the monastery stops what they're doing and stares on at the mysterious stranger.

First Monk: What you want anyway?

The mystery man throws off his hood as the camera swoops in tight for a heroic close up to reveal none other than Gentleman Jack himself. Jack smiles, with the light causing his gorgeous new tooth, care of the Rogue Convoy, to glisten and sparkle. Jack, with a cocksure attitude responds.

Jack: I'm here to find God motherfucker!!!

The entire room bursts into laughter at the thought of this white, American dick weasel trying to find God in their sacred temple. Before the holy men can get any more raucous, we hear a a series of loud knocks that echo throughout the building. All of the men quickly stop laughing and take on a much more somber mood. From out of the darkness we hear an older, slower, wiser voice that commands the room.

????: You...You seek... Him?

Jack looks around in confusion as the other monks just stare soulfully at the ground. We hear more knocking as it draws near. Finally, out of the shadows steps an old, blind, senile man limping along slowly with a cane, wearing the same robes as his brothers, though these appear much more worn and aged. The man's hair is white and wispy, his eyes milky white with no visible pupils.

Old Monk: You... seek God?

Jack looks on at the old man in awe. There's something about the withered man's presence that draws reverence and respect from the Gentleman.

Jack: Yes your holiness, I seek Him. I seek enlightenment. I seek a new path.

The old monk seems stunned. His jaw opens slightly as he tilts his head back as if to stare blindly into the heavens themselves.

Old Monk: Jack?!

The old Asian monk is now speaking like an african american from a 1970's blacksploitation film.

Old Monk: Jack motherfucker, that better not be you. Your cracker ass still owes me three large for that bullshit you pulled in Witchita six years ago. Or are you here to pay my rickety old ass???

Jack: Yeah yeah Leroy, I'm here to pay your shriveled old ass.

Leroy The Monk: Let me see it. Put the paper in my hand or I swear to God I'll kill your white devil ass where it stands! Don't try me now!

Jack: Leroy, you couldn't see a flock of dicks flying at your face. You blind old bastard. Oh, and for the record, I don't owe you anything. Wichita was a fluke and you know it. I just happen to have come into some money and feel like making a charitable donation to the brotherhood here. Plus my karma could use it.

Leroy: Kharma? That fat bitch is still around? She's going to lose her foot to diabetes if she don't put down the snack cakes.

Jack: No, not Kharma, karma! Kharma totally died from diabetes. I'm talking about karma.

Leroy: I see you're still dumber than a box of cunt hairs. Sorry to hear that about Kharma though... Sweet kid... Never seen a woman crush a beer can with a titty before. Shame...

Jack: The service was real nice. We paid a group of meth addicts to be pallbearers. One of them opened the casket and tried to steal her shoes. Classy affair from start to finish... It's what she would have wanted ya know.

As Jack finishes his sordid tale he takes out a thick wad of cash to pay off Leroy and places it in the od man's hands.

Leroy: These better not be singles...

Jack: Would I do that? Really? To a blind man? A servant of God himself?

Leroy: Of course you would ******! I taught you how to do it!

Jack takes out another wad of bills and places it in the old man's hands.

Jack: There, we square?

Leroy: Yeah, we square. So, do you want to get fucked up or not?

Jack: That's why I'm here

Leroy: Marcus! Octavio! Droopy Pete! Get our boy here some drugs! Oh and don't skimp on the rhino horn! We gettin crunk tonight boys! Welcome home Jackie Boy!!!

Flo Rida's “Its Going Down For Real” begins to play over a montage of Jack and the monks doing various forms of narcotics and getting into debauchery. Strippers arrive and become coke mirrors, a pizza delivery boy is robbed at gunpoint, and we see various midgets dressed as clowns riding tigers around the compound in a thrilling race. In the midst of the montage, we cut to Jack and Leroy, very strung out doing cocaine with one of the midget clowns off of a passed out stripper. As Leroy begins to speak, he now again sounds like a muffled old Asian man.

Leroy: Jack.... Do you still seek.... Him???

Jack: Cut the act Leroy. We both know this is the closest to God that I'll ever be.

Leroy: Jack.... I can lead you to Him. I can show you the path Jack. You just have to be ready to walk down it.

Jack: I'm ready Leroy. I got to do something. I screwed up big this time. Like Casey Paine's twat big.

Leroy: Tell me your sins Jack. And swallow this...

Leroy hands Jack a small strip of paper that he simply chews without thinking.

Jack: I screwed with the wrong people Leroy. There were these people that I thought were nobodies, I said bad things, did worse things, and turns out they're now the most powerful people in my world. I'm so screwed Leroy. I'm a walking dead man.

Leroy: Nonsense! He will show you the way, for He is the answer. All things are possible through Him. You've taken your first step, now prepare for the journey.

Jack: By the way I took enough peyote to kill burning man like an hour before I got here and things are starting to get really real. Like really, really, really, really, real.

Leroy laughs with glee.

Leroy: Then you are truly ready for your journey.

The two men share an embrace as the screen fades to a black. “White Rabbit” by Jefferson Airplane begins as we see a title card that states three hours later.

As we come back, the music keeps playing while we see Jack, deep in the throes of an LSD and peyote trip, stumbling down the aisle of a train's passenger car. Throughout the car we can see Jack's twisted visions. All of the people are melting, the floor is a strange, glowing muck, and fantastic light prisms gleam throughout.

Jack: Mother of god, I'll never get through this sludge...

Jack takes two more uneasy, stumbling steps before stopping in front of a smiling american man sitting in an aisle seat. The only other American on this train, the older man strikes a bearing resemblance to deceased author Hunter S Thompson.

HST?: Here kid, you'll need these. No way to get traction in this stuff.

The visage of HST hands Jack a pair of golf shoes. As Jack replies, its very distorted.

Jack: Thaaaaaaankkkkkk yooooouuuuuuuuuuu.

Jack miraculously puts on the golf shoes, and now with added traction is able to easier make his way down the car. As Jack continues his journey, a few of his hallucinations begin hissing and growling at him.

Jack: Back you beasts! I'll taze each and everyone of you goddamn animals!

The hissing and growling becomes to much for our intrepid protagonist as he flees for his life into another car. Through sheer luck Jack makes his way into an empty dining car. Once there, he plops down in a chair to gather his thoughts. As he sits, a magnificent voice straight from the heavens themselves is heard behind him.

????: Hello my son. I've been waiting for you.

Jack buries his head in hands and begins rocking back and forth.

Jack: Oh god, oh god, oh god....

????: Yes?

Jack screams in terror and hides behind a small counter in the dining car.

God?: Why do you hide my special child? Have you not journeyed to see me?

Jack begins to quietly mumble to himself while still cowering in fear.

Jack: You aren't real, you aren't real... None of this happening... It's all in my mind...

God?: Oh I'm as real as it gets captain. Gaze upon me and accept my blessing child.

Jack: No thanks, I'm good right where I am.

God?: Knock it off and quit acting like a bitch.

Jack slowly arises from his cowered position to feast his eyes on the vision standing before him. What he sees however is enough to scramble the brains of lesser men. Hovering a few feet in the air, surrounded by a peaceful blue aura, sitting in a standard cross legged yoga pose we finally see God himself. This vision of God is a bit cloudy, but Jack immediately recognizes his creator.

Jack: It's really you isn't it?

God: Yay for it is he...I...um...Him. .

Jack: I recognize you!

God: Of course you do child. Though I take many forms, this is my truest.

The clouds part, revealing a glowing man that strikes a scary resemblance to OCW Hall of Fame member Versus.

Jack: If it's really you, prove it.

God/Versus: It is not for me to prove my child. For it is joyous to have a heart of faith and walk the true path. But as you are my favorite son, I shall bestow thy proof upon thee.

God, Versus, whatever you want to call him, pulls out his patented vape pen and takes a glorious drag, releasing an immense cloud of smoke.

God/Versus: That's a new galaxy, you're welcome.

Jack: It's you! Oh Lord I've seen the Light! Please forgive me Father! I know not what I do!

God/Versus: It is ok my special, special child. The path to true salvation has many turns. Though you may have veered from my course, it is never too late to get back on the path of the righteous.

Jack: Yes Lord, anything you say!

God/Versus: For starters, assaulting kids...the hell man?!?

Jack: It was a surly midget in prosthetics! We'd never actually hurt a child!

God/Versus: And what of poor Jimmy Henry?! Why did you attack one of my most purest, innocent creations?

Jack: Ok that one is all on me. I was in a bad place...

God/Versus: What of Dennis Black??? Why do you mock my chosen one?

Jack: I mean c'mon! He stole my best friend's girl! What was I supposed to do?

God/Versus: Yay he did not steal thy girl. Madison is whore, but a whore of my creation. What's that saying? Um...lest he without sins cast the first stoner? Stone!!!! Yes, lest he without sin yada yada stone.

Jack: Yes Lord, you will be done! Lord, just one question... Why are you a wrestler?

God/Versus: What else am I going to do on a Tuesday? Book club? Bowl? Speaking of which...

The holy one takes another massive hit of his vape pen and blows it out while coughing feverishly.

God/Versus: Alas, I've created a new Lady Gaga song....my bad.

Jack: So what do I do now Lord?

God/Versus: My child, I have already laid out your path. All you must do now is accept it. The forces of evil are amassing on Turmoil. You must join the red army of the light to fight them off. Plus your guys kinda cranked it to Willow so I'm the only shot you got.

Jack: Of course Lord, anything you say.

God/Versus: Oh and tell Edward to cut it with the racism. It's 2016! Also tell Seb that not all of my creations are pikey cunts. Give them a chance! Oh and tell Cactus I was very clear on the whole no rape thing and to watch himself around Sophia.

Jack: Yes Lord, anything. Lord, if I may be so bold... what's the meaning of life?

God/Versus: That's simple my son. Smoke weed everyday!

The creator of all we know takes one more massive hit and exhales with a thunderous cough.

God/Versus: Holy shit that one had two suns! Tatooine baby!

Jack looks upon his creator and tears freely flow from eyes.

Jack: Of course, it's so simple! I've seen the Light! Hallelujah, amen!

Suddenly the loudest doorbell one could possibly imagine rings out.

God/Versus: Hey that's my pizza...and my weed delivered by a beautiful topless redhead soooooo, I gotta run. So we all good here? Tone it down a notch, fight the forces of evil along side Rev Inc, smoke weed everyday. Not to hard to remember.

Jack: Of course! Anything you say!

God/Versus: Good, now get back to Turmoil!

God snaps his fingers and suddenly Jack is transported to a filthy ditch across the street from Terminal 5 where he's laying among a group of trash bags.

Jack: Was... was it all a dream??

The camera begins to pan back, showing the arena, then the cityscape, the state of New York, the USA, planet Earth, the solar system, the milky way and finally the universe until it fades to black. The scene slowly cuts back to a clearly autistic child playing with his Gentleman Jack and Versus action figures as all of this madness comes to an end.

The camera pans to the announce team.

	I always knew that man was a GOD. Stoners for life!!!
	I love them guys for real.

	Gentleman club member takes on convoy member next.
	This is sure to be one for the ages...

Cactus

vs

Jason Williams

The camera pans to the announce team.

	He can't catch a break.
	The faction wars continue.

As we return from commercial break, Stacy Clark is standing beside Madison Cox, who as usual, has both Titles draped over her shoulders. They look a bit heavy for her, but she’s far too arrogant to admit it. She smiles to Stacy as the interview begins.

Stacy: I’m here with Madi-

Madison: Queen.

Stacy: ...Queen Madison.

Madison nods.

Stacy: Last week, your client was called out on social media by a young man who had not even let the ink dry on his OCW contract. He attempted to edit his comments, but the damage had been done. We find ourselves with that very same young man main evening his first Turmoil...against Dennis Black. My question is, was this necessary?

Madison shrugs a bit, trying to keep the weight of the titles from bothering her.

Madison: It’s about respect, Stacy. If he challenged a veteran, he would have gone largely ignored. But Dennis and I? That’s not us. We don’t back down from anything. Tyson is going to find that out by the end of the night.

Madison looks to the camera.

Madison: You had a chance to be different, Tyson. To come in, respect the locker room, and compete. But no...you made a conscious decision to be like most of this roster. Your mouth has written a check that your ass simply cannot cash. You want to call out a man that has been dealing with this lack of respect from day one, Tyler? Do you honestly think you're the first?! He's the The Television Champion, Final Four of the Riot King of OCW, Winner of the Turmoil King of OCW, the man who should be crowned 2016 Rookie of the year...and your current Turmoil Heavyweight Champion.

Madison: You walk in the door disrespecting the Champion and Queen of Turmoil. Do you have any idea how long it takes me to look this good?!

Stacy places a hand on Madison’s shoulder and asks her to calm down.

Madison: Sorry...anyway! Tyson, you completely disregard what you’re up against and are walking into this match far too overconfident. We prep for everyone to the point of exhaustion...even you. Everyone else on Turmoil doubts him too. You had a chance to be different. But you chose to be another sheep in that locker room. Consider me to be the sheep herder, leading you to slaughter at the hands of Dennis Black, The Butcher. Good luck, you’re going to need it.

Madison flips her hair in Stacy’s face before walking out of view of the camera.

The camera pans to the announce team.

	You can always rely on Dennis Black to save the day.
	Don't you mean Madison? At least we got a main event now.

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