OCWFED.COM PRESENTS TURMOIL

   


 

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Jimmy signals for a mic from the announcer's table, and waits for the crowd's chants to quieten down before speaking:

Jimmy: Boy, it's good to be home!

This sets the crowd off cheering again.

Jimmy: The place looks a bit different, though? Looks smaller, but maybe it's just me.

Jimmy: Man, I can’t tell you how good it was to get back in the ring last week. What a match, congratulations to Dennis Black. I thought I had you beat, but you are actually pretty tough for a wee guy. It's just a shame "Her Majesty" gets all the acclaim for your talent & ability.

The crowd "oooohhhss" which turns into pantomime boos at the reference to Madison Cox.

Jimmy: Anyway, enough about her.

Jimmy: After WrestleLution, I had some emergency surgery which went very well, but I was in a bit of a dark place for the couple months after it. But, with a bit of help, I've spent the last few weeks getting my body, and more importantly my head, back in shape. It turns out I need OCW & I need Turmoil, and you guys, more than I ever knew.

Jimmy's eyes look a bit damp, as the crowd gives him a round of applause and a "Jimmy Henry" chant echoes around the arena.

Jimmy: My plan was to come back and sit down with Tank, be the bigger man and forgive & forget, but I've since found out he's no longer around. No Daryl Bradley either. Oh well, dwelling on the past won't bring them back...

Jimmy sarcastically shrugs his shoulders with a wry smirk on his face, and the crowd laugh...

Jimmy: However, I have noticed a lot of new faces...

Before Jimmy can continue, he is interrupted by the soothing tones of Justin Timberlake’s “Cry Me a River”. Out from the curtain steps the Gentleman’s Club, consisting of Gentleman Jack, Cactus Gauge and the newest member of the Club, Dustin White. Conspicuous by his absence is the Club’s resident monster, Big Ed. As the men step onto the stage, all three appear to be crying in mockery of Jimmy’s story.

Jack: Whaaaa Tank hit my mommy! Whaaa now Tank is gone now! Whaaaa I went through a rough time and had to search deep in my soul for answers! Whaaaa whaaaa whaaaa! Jimbo, I gotta ask this man. Was Turmoil just full of pussies before I got here?

The crowd begins to boo at the disrespect being shown to Jimmy, although a minority of them are laughing their heads off.


Jack: I'm serious Jim, I just don't get it man. Tank beats you and your mom into oblivion and you're sad that you can't bury the hatchet? Jimmy, you should be on your little immigrant hands and knees THANKING me for taking out the trash. That little piss ant of a man took one look at the magnificence that is the Gentleman's Club and ran faster than Madison does to Planned Parenthood on Groupon day.

Jack: But nooooo! Instead of doing the actual honorable thing, you're just going to come out here and cry like a little girl. Well bravo Jimmy, bra freakin vo.

The crowd showers Jack and the Club with thunderous boos.

Jack: Oh stuff it! Deep down inside you all know I'm right if you want to admit to it or not.

Jack: Here's the real kicker here Jim. None of this even bothers me that much. You want to cry over Tank? Be my guest. You want to be a hero to these... people I guess you would call them? Fine, no skin off my ass.

Jack: Ya wanna know what irks me though? One, the fact that you let Tank steal your dignity in a cage. I mean c'mon man! He hit your mother in the face! Do you remember what that felt like? Watching that chubby nobody knock the taste out of your own mother's mouth? Your own mother Jim! The woman that got raped by the village drunk and pushed you out nine months later deserves better buddy.

There is a sharp intake of breath followed by an awkward lull in the crowd, as many of the fans are shocked by what Jack just said.

Jack: But more importantly, what gets me is that after you took said ass whooping, underwent emergency surgery, took a three month paid vacation, and you still got to waltz back in here like nothing happened to face OCW's resident ewok with alopecia, Dennis Black for the World's TV title.

Jack: What is it with you? How do you continue to fail upwards in this company? For god sake Jim, I could beat you in that ring!

The crowd pops hard at the idea of Jimmy beating the Gentleman within an inch of his life. Jimmy nods and visibly invites Jack down into the ring mouthing: “Come on down”.

Jack: But despite the pleas of these buffoons, that's not going to happen tonight. No Jimbo, I have much bigger plans for you little buddy. Much bigger! Some would even call said plans, GIANT!

The crowd sizzles in anticipation as the opening guitar riffs of the Gentleman's Club music hits the PA. From behind the curtain steps, yes steps, the most dominant superstar on Turmoil today, BIG ED! Ed appears to be in fine shape despite the previous week's actions. He looks around the arena before raising his mammoth arm in defiance of the crowd. Jack, Dustin, and Cactus fall to their knees in praise of their beast as he soaks it all in.

Big Ed: Honey, I’m home!

Jack: Good god i love this man! Everyone in this arena needs to fall to their knees in praise! Big Ed ladies and gentlemen!

As Jack looks at his monster, a sly smile appears on his face.

Jack: Here's how it's going to work Jimmy. I know you've been out of the loop for a while so let me help you with your schedule. In just a few short weeks, OCW is going to have the premier event of the summer.

Cactus pulls out the Sophia SummerCide poster and begins to jump with glee.

Jack: In due time Cactus! All good things come to those who wait my man.

Jack: As you can see from my exuberant friend here, SummerCide is just around the corner. So how about the Turmoil brand finally cranks it up a notch and gives these peons a real fight to remember? I can see it now! Little Jimmy Henry vs Big Ed Last Name Unknown at SummerCide! Or we can just come down there right now and beat you so badly you'll be standing next to Tank in the unemployment line in no time. Your choice!

The crowd pops at this proposal. Jimmy looks at his wrist and signals towards an imaginary watch and mouths
“You done yet?”

Jimmy: You sure do a lot of smack-talking, for someone who was so bad in the ring that they retired from wrestling after how many matches? One? Two? Then you come out here with your little Swinger’s Club, trying to dictate who fights who at the biggest PPV of the summer. Please!

Jimmy: The last time that mong-strosity was in the ring he broke the damn thing! And you want to come out here, trash talk me, click your fingers and get him booked on the card at Summercide. Sounds like you and Special Ed think you can run your own damn show!

Jack: How could you possibly say no J Dog? Worst case scenario, Ed here kills you in the ring and you get a posthumous Hall of Fame invite. What could possibly go wrong?!

Jack: So what do you say J Juice. As you can see I have assembled an army of the finest young superstars Turmoil has to offer. While you on the other hand have....

Jack and the gang break into a fit of laughter.

Jack wiping away tears: While you on the other hand have the fans! Oh yeah, this is going to be a fair fight...…

Jimmy: I’ll fight Big Ed any time, any place. But I don’t book the matches, and despite what you might think, neither do you! I’ve only been back a week, and I’m already fed up watching you guys think you can do what you want without consequence. There’s having fun, which I’m all for, and then there’s just being outright jerks.

Jimmy: Wrestling terminally ill children, racially abusing bar staff in foreign countries, attacking clergymen…

The crowd laughs at the list of recent escapades of the Gentleman’s Club.

Jimmy: And then there’s Big Ed’s diva demands backstage: “I preferred my dressing room layout to look like it did a few weeks back, change it back or I’m not fighting”.

Jimmy: “I want Randy Rice to push my wheelchair, I want Tom Sanders to change my nappy”.

The crowd pops at the mention of their favourite commentary team.


Jimmy: So if there’s nothing wrong with you Big Ed, why have you been sitting in that wheelchair for weeks?

Jimmy: I'll tell you. It's because you are the laziest oaf on Turmoil, happy to let Jack and the Club do all the hard-work for you. While you just sit there mouthing off & making demands. And these idiots are the only guys in OCW dumb enough to fall for it.

The members of the club get visibly angry, they do not appreciate these comments.

Cactus: Boss, how about Dustin and I just finish this right now? You and Ed can just watch!

Jack: Uh oh Jimmy, the hounds are getting hungry it seems. You want a piece of him? Dustin, you want some too?

Both men nod their heads in agreement, salivating at the opportunity to take down a legit Turmoil star.

Jack: You know, I'm in a giving mood. Just not tonight in front of these sorry people...

More boos as Jack refuses to give the fans any satisfaction or semblance of a fair fight.

Jack: Next week, Cactus Gauge and Dustin White are going to be waiting in the middle of that very ring. If you can bribe one of those genetic rejects in the back to be you partner I have a hell of a proposition for you. The winning team gets to decide the stipulation of your ppv showdown. Any kind of match your little simpleton, eurotrash brain can comprehend is fair game.

Big Ed blows a kiss in Jimmy’s direction as the Club prepares to exit the top of the stage. Jimmy shakes his head in disgust as he watches the Club head backstage.

 

 

 

The camera pans to the announce team.

 

Jimmy Henry is our biggest fan Randy.

Well I am Big EDs biggest fan. My family and eight kids can eat again because of this man.

Well coming up next, Sid Harrison takes on Jackson Montgomery in singles competition.

This is a match that you don't want to miss. Go get him Jackson.

 

 


It's a Match!

Sid Harrison

vs

Jackson Montgomery

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The camera pans to the announce team.

 

GOOD GOD AS MY WITNESS. HE'S BEEN BROKEN IN HALF.

He will never be the same again after that.

 



The ambulance had come and gone. It took them a while because they nearly ended up at Termina 5 but the great people we have working here at Turmoil got it sorted.

 

The paramedics had given a grim shake of the head when they left. It didn’t look good. However right as they pulled away another truck had pulled in. The name of the side read “Guilty Pleasure Bakery” and it lifted Jacob’s spirits. His cake was here.

Truck Driver:
Yo, man! Where you want us to roll it to?

Trance was confused. He had order a small marble cake to satisfy only a few guests. But the truck driver pulled down a ramp and the passenger hopped out to assist him as they rolled a large cake with a square base that almost stretched across the entire bed of the truck.

Trance:
I didn’t order that cake.

Truck Driver: Look man, I got three more deliveries to make, if the dimensions aren’t quite right just deal with it.

Trance moved aside as the two burly men rolled the cake past him and through the open garage door.


Truck Driver:
This is gonna have to do. I got to roll. Get your guests to help you out.

Trance: But…

It was too late, the men had already rushed out of the building and jumped into the truck. They sped away and Trance observed his cake. A small smile cracked his lips. It might be a good night after all. He began to push, it took an effort but he was finally able to move it to the locker room that his “party” was being hosted. The music was still going, but it was no song he recognized. Damn kids these days.

He picked up a knife and went to cut the cake. He was at a loss where to start but finally settled on the corner of the large square base, but when he went to cut into it the cake would not yield past an inch. He tried again a few inches to the right, same result.

Trance:
Is… Is this plastic?

Suddenly the the top of the cake exploded open and frosting went flying everywhere. Trance jumped back with a shout. His face was covered in white chocolate frosting and his hair was now a tangled mess. He whipped at his face frantically to see what had happened but before he could whip his eyes clear a familiar voice sounded off.


Loki:
Oi! Mr. Velasquez. I’ve been trying to contact you for a week! You’re security wouldn’t let me see….

Loki looked curiously around at the empty room before seeing Trance sitting on the floor.


Loki:
Que? You’re not Cain Velasquez! What? Where the hell am I?

Trance: Terminal 5… You know… Turmoil… That place you work?

Loki: That doesn’t make any sense! This is Cain Velasquez’s birthday cake! Did you seriously just steal his birthday cake? What the hell is wrong with you?

Trance wipes more cake from his face, flicking it off onto the floor.


Trance:
This comes from the man that replaced it with a plastic mock up, and then proceeded to hide inside it like some sort of midget cake assassin? Please, Judgy McJudgerson, you’ve got another thing coming if you think I’m the one with something wrong with me, I’ve seen the vignettes, I actually own a TV and watch Turmoil.

Loki: Oi jist wasted o hole week on dis! B cool, las!

Loki’s eyes widened sharply and his voice sounded bitter: Oh, right. Marketing said no to Irish.


Loki:
Anyways. Bro, I need some help. I need to get to Mr. Velasquez’s birthday party, you think you could just...mush it back together and drive me there?

Trance: I don’t know what to say… It’s plastic, you don’t just mash plastic back together… And… Did you make this? How much spare time do you actually have?

Loki: Booking is full of idiots! They told me they had nothing for me. And yes, I made this. I need to save Axton Bravo...or avenge him. Whichever.

Trance: I… I don’t understand why an apache attack chopper was dispatched to kill a guy on live TV… Or even how it’s possible, but that’s impressive and probably the most interesting thing anyone’s going to talk about tonight.

Loki: Trance...I don’t understand either. But one thing is certain. I didn’t find crispy Axton in the car.

Loki climbed out of the destroyed cake treading carefully not to slip. He rushed over to the still sitting Trance and held out a hand to help him up.

Trance accepted the outstretched hand and stood up.


Loki:
Look. I know you’re not my first choice to help me...Or my second....likely not my third either...I honestly would have never asked, but I need help. Axton is being held by cannibals, or eaten, whichever. And they have guns...lot’s of paintball guns.

Trance: You didn’t actually choose anyone to help you… Did you?

Loki: Cain was my top choice....I like convoluted plans. But that obviously didn’t work!

Loki takes Trance’s face in his hands and holds him tightly.


Loki:
Trance. You haven’t been relevant for months....Aries left you...B-17 is….apparently on his way, but God knows when. Join me. Together we can save or avenge Axton, whichever. Do this for yourself. Become Jacob Trance again, not lonely Trance.

Trance takes a long, slow breath as if gathering his thoughts before finally coming to a conclusion.


Trance:
I swear to god Loki… If we get attacked by ninja cows or something I’m tossing you in a river… I’m in.

Loki-Watson: JOLLY GOOD!

Loki: Shut up.

Trance: I didn’t say anything.

Jacob wonders just what he’s gotten himself in for as he picks up his car keys and motions to the door.

Trance:
Shall we?

The unlikely duo depart, presumably towards the parking lot as the scene fades.


 

The camera pans to the announce team.

 

Worst cake ever!

Happy Birthday Jacob from all of us at Turmoil!

 

The camera pans to the titantron as we take a look back at what took place after Bray S.Spur vs Kassidy Hayes match. Moments after the bell rang, the camera pans down to Bray, who’s face is a crimson mask after being hit with the steel steps. Ace rushes over to her broken brother, sobbing with great fury. Kass steps away from Bray as Ace holds her brother’s unconscious head against her. As Kass makes his way past the two, EMTs and doctors rush past him.

Ace: THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?

Kass simply turns his head away and continues to walk up the ramp. Looking at the titantron, he sees the EMTs loading Bray onto a stretcher. The crowd rains down boos on Kass as he turns back to the crew and the bloodied Bray on the stretcher. Ace’s eyes meet Kass’s as he glares at Bray and she already knows what’s going to happen next.

Kass rushes down the ramp and immediately pushes Bray out of the stretcher. The doctors plead with Kass to back away from Bray, but he doesn’t respond. Ace tries to slap the piss out of Kass, but he blocks it and simply pushes her away. She tries to jump on his back but the doctors pull her away.

Kass kneels down to Bray and proceeds to repeatedly punch him in the head, bloodying his own hands in the process. Ace leaps over the doctors and beats down on Kass. He stops punching Bray and he trots back up the ramp. The camera pans to a couple of fans, shocking and scarred at what they had just witnessed. Kass smiles and relishes in the boos as the camera fades to black as we go back to Tom and Randy.

 

 

 

The camera pans to the announce team.

 

He may stink but that man had a family.

Poor Bray.

Our next match is the lovely Casey Paine going one on one with Brittany Sparks.

I wouldn't call her lovely. She did give you crabs one time remember?

This is true.

Anyway this match is next, live on Turmoil.

 

 

It's a Match!


Brittany Sparks

vs

Casey Paine

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The camera pans to the announce team.

 

That's how it's done.

Turmoil, the home of womens wrestling.

 

The camera pans to what took place after the Jackson Montgomery and Sid Harrison Match. Jackson happy with what he has done leaves the ring. The fans are in utter shock at what they just witnessed. Sid is lay unconscious with blood all dripping down onto the floor.

The Turmoil medical staff all come running down to check on Sid. A stretcher is brought in.

Sid Harrison chants break out and a concerned Kassie comes running down upset at what has just happened. Sid regains conscious but is coughing up a lot of blood.

The medical team help Sid onto a stretcher. Sid is a heavy guy so a mini ambulance car makes its way down to ringside. Sid Harrison is helped onto. Kassie stays with Sid as we now go back to Tom and Randy.

The camera pans to the announce team.

They are all dropping like flies tonight.

I couldn't be any happier right now.

 

The scene opens back up at the sandwich shop where a medium sized crowd seems to be brewing. Chants of “DING! DING! DING!” can be heard coming from inside. Bill Ding is seated at a table where the massive sandwich has been delivered and placed in front of him. Cameras do a close up of Ding’s eyes as they shift from left to right. Sounds from “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly” theme seems to play from out of nowhere. With a woosh, Ding breaks out his handkerchief embroidered with a city skyline design and cursive lettering that reads “He Built This City”. Most likely knitted by his Nana. Bill tucks it into his Dingy tank top and prepares to take on the massive concoction.

The crowd continues cheering him on! Women and children gather near to see the sight that is Bill Ding vs Hoagie. 50 minutes pass and Bill is nearing the end of the hefty sandwich. He has slowed down dramatically and seems to be getting bested by the remaining bites in front of him. Just when he thinks he can't go on anymore, a random pimply faced teenager yells out from amongst the crowd.


Pimply teen:
You suck, Ding!!! You can break rings but can't finish a sandwich?? No wonder you got DQ’d!!

The comment seems gives Ding that extra push he needs to continue! He channels the rage inside him and picks back up the remaining bit of sandwich.

Bill Ding:
Must…. continue! Must… Not get… DQ’d again!!!

Bill gives that sandwich a final “I'm gonna show you who's boss” look and begins cramming the remainder in his mouth. He literally chomps at the bit to get every last piece. Loud muffled growling can be heard as he chomps away.


Random little boy Douglas:
Look mom, he did it! The fat man did it!

Sandwich guy Gaetano makes his way over to the table just as Bill Ding whips off his handkerchief and throws it down on the plate in victory.


Gaetano:
You did it, son- congrats. (Gaetano holds up an old Polaroid camera up to his eyes and aims the view at Bill to take his picture) Tell me, what are you gonna call this sandwich?

Bill Ding: Simple. “The Ding”!!

 


The camera pans to the announce team.

I think Bill Ding just broke a new record.

I could have eaten two of them right now.

 

 

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