We turn to the backstage hallways, where Dragana and Johnny Law are seen leaning against a wall. Dragana is having a hard time catching her breath while we can see that Johnny has his eyes widened.
Johnny: I don't think I've ever been out there for too long. I think I almost had a panic attack.
Dragana: ...
Dragana's face is a blank expression, but somewhat different than the usual; this time, her eyes look almost soulless, as if there's nobody home.
Johnny: Hey, you all right? That was a war out there.
Dragana: ...
Johnny puts his hand in front of her face, and she isn't responsive. Just then, Jim Black arrives with a mic in hand. Johnny holds a hand out to him, looking concerned.
Johnny: Hey, could you give it a minute?
Black: I just want to gather Dragana's thoughts after that incredible contest. First, how do you feel about Sentai and Bunny D following that match?
He holds the mic up to Dragana, who isn't responsive.
Dragana: ...
Johnny: Um, we respect them and I guess they're cool people and all that, but they shouldn't be going around accusing people of stuff. Can we go?
Dragana: ...
Johnny: S***.
Black: Dragana, what's next for you after this victory? Is the championship in your sights?
He holds the mic up to Dragana. She widens her eyes slightly and takes a deep breath.
Dragana: Unnnhhhh....
She collapses to the floor, causing Johnny to throw off his mask in a panic.
Johnny: Get a doctor!
Jim Black runs off as Johnny figures out what to do. He tries lightly nudging her.
Johnny: Hey, hey. Come on, wake up.
He gets up and runs off to a nearby room, coming back with a bucket filled with water. He shakes his head.
Johnny: Sorry about this.
With that, he dumps the water into her face, causing her to take a deep breath and get to her senses, coughing up some of the water. She holds her head and looks to Johnny.
Johnny: She sure did a number on you, didn't she?
Dragana nods as the scene fades.
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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That was a close one! |
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Indeed! |
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After claims of collusion Austin Lee puts up the Future Investment Case he won at Wrestlution up against Wrex! |
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The winner of this match will forever change Turmoil! |
LADDER MATCH
WREX vs #AUSTIN LEE
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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HE DID IT! |
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WHAT!!! |
Previously recorded earlier today.
After having a near death experience and spending 48 hours in a hospital, Tiberius Octavian Dupree has to re-evaluate his approach at Savage Lands for the OCW World Lightheavyweight Championship.
So being “He with the Iron Knee”, he has formulated a flawless master plan that will prepare him for yet another match with the disgusting animal that is Paul Pugh.
There a plenty of disgusting places to visit in New Orleans, as it is with every city. Yet there is no place more deplorable locale than a animal prison known by the commonality as a “zoo”.
Tibby wouldn’t even lock Pugh behind a cage and charge admission despite him being the only animal whose fetal pouch is a fanny pack. He also wouldn’t lock Pugh in a cage and charge admission because he wouldn’t draw a goddamn dime!
After being told twice by Audubon Zoo security Tibby has finally stopped harassing other tourists. I wouldn’t call jumping into selfies exposing the true animal in the picture “harassing”, I’d call it freaking social justice.
If the OCW Hall of Famer can make it through this ordeal, he can make it through another disgusting match with Pugh.
BETTERNESS: These are the true Savage Lands, look at these animals taken out of their natural habitat and shoved into a tiny space just for your entertainment.
He continues to walk the tourist path scowling at anyone who looks his direction.
BETTERNESS: Many of these savages often remind me of the animals of OCW who are also chained to this zoo we call professional wrestling.
He shows his own imaginary shackles.
BETTERNESS: You got the African Painted Bitch, I mean dog... Dale Black. The infamous Dung Beetle, Trash making his home outta crap and the like.
He pauses and looks directly into the camera with a hard stare, then squints his eyes.
BETTERNESS: Is that a GOAT? Nope...just an old and I mean really old tortoise. Wanna call him Nate Ortiz, I think we should…. how else will you describe him...he’s ancient and well protected. Let’s not forget...slow, dry, endangered and incapable of putting up any real fight. Poor pathetic Nate.
Insert Classic half smile here.
BETTERNESS: That colorful Clownfish we saw earlier, definitely a Harvey freaking Ocean. Ahhhh there we go, Paula Pugh the Babirusa
BETTERNESS: What is a babirusa you ask….well I’ll show you…
He grabs the camera with his left hand, physically pulling it into position.
BETTERNESS: Yes that hideous pig thing, that shite hanging from his neck, a fanny pack. The bags under his eyes, the obnoxious snout, he just looks like he shills irrelevancy. This thing is the vomitous champion of lightweights, the beholder of everything that is foul and distasteful.
Zoo security can be seen stalking in the background waiting for Tibby to do something stupid.
BETTERNESS: If I didn’t want to spend another 48 hours in a hospital after being assaulted by Zoolanderthals, I would hop into this pen and take this animal’s lunch, just like I plan on taking Pugh’s lunch tonight.
As Tibby finally makes it to the exit, he makes sure to give Zoo security the better bird.
BETTERNESS: Since I can’t free all the savages here at the Audubon Zoo, I can at least free the OCW World Lightheavyweight Championship from a savage. Doesn’t make any sense? Well neither does a 50 year old sloth as champion.
BETTERNESS: JUMANJI!
Why’d he say Jumanji? We have no clue but the camera fades because I feel like it’s time for you to go. Bye.
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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JUMANJI!!! |
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Oh settle down.... |
BUNNY D VS LIGERMASK
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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I can't belive he did it! |
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He really did! |
The Xtron Flickers On
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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HYPE! |
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Oye, Heavy Duty! |
H2O is seen leaving the area with all his personal belongings. Jim Black is rushing towards him to get an interview.
Jim: H2O! H2O wait!
H2O gets into the limo and closes the door. He rolls the window down.
H2O: Driver, to the airport please.
Jim: H2O, what's wrong? Where are you going?
H2O: I'm going home, Jim. I took my father home. My family and I just want to be left alone. Bye Jim.
H2O rolls the window up as Jim Black tries to get a few more words in but failed to do so. The limo takes off leaving Jim to himself.
Jim: But dude, are you coming back? Please come back.
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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Cmon HARV! |
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GOOD QUIT, QUIT YOU LOSER!!! |