As soon as the bell rings Jack jumps into the ring with joy to celebrate Ed's victory over Iron Joe Zhivago. This is Jack's first taste of any semblance of victory in OCW and he's soaking in.
Jack: Ladies and fellow gentlemen, I give to you the most dominant superstar on Turmoil! and dare I say OCW!!!! The man that will one day be the most decorated big man in wrestling history! Let's give it up for your future Turmoil Champion, the heart and soul of The Gentleman's Club, the man they call Big Ed!!!!
The crowd is having none of this, booing the gentleman and his seven foot monster.
Jack: Have some respect! This man is a winner! We aren't at Soldier Field watching the Bears! We're in the presence of greatness!
The crowd continues its boos and with a few people throwing light bits of trash into the ring over the Bears insult.
Jack: Way to be classy Chicago! You know, you should all be on your hands and knees thanking us for giving you the opportunity to witness history. You could be outside getting shot at it in this cesspool you call a city, but instead you're inside watching the future of OCW! Look at this beautiful man! Good lord you clean up nice Ed!
A roll of toilet paper is hurled from the audience, striking Jack in the back of the head.
Jack: Who did that?! I want that man arrested for assault! You filthy animals! This is a time for celebration! If you want to be mad at somebody then be mad at Glass Joe here for letting you all down, not me.
Jack: I'm sorry the one nice guy your kids could look up to lost. I had the good sense to back a winning a team, but again this is Chicago and you losers wouldn't know a winning team if it smacked you in the side of the head!
Jack pauses and looks around the arena with a smile. As he turns to face the camera again his mood begins to shift to a more serious tone.
Jack: You know what? I can't do this. I had another solid ten minutes of running down Chicago but I can't do it. I was going to play my part, raise Ed's hand here, and do the office's little spiel. But I'm tired of being their dancing monkey.
Jack: Big Ed here has been busting his ass, week in and week out for months. What did it get him? Nothing. I don't know if the producers in the back are blind, stupid, or scared but they haven't given him a chance. How do you screw up a seven foot monster on a revenge warpath? Let the Turmoil booking committee have a crack at him, that's how! This man is walking money and you won't give him a chance?
The crowd continues to boo, not caring about Jack's sob story.
Jack: If you want proof of how scared the powers that be are of Big Ed, just look at the next Turmoil Weeks Turmoil. They don't even have the balls to put him on it!
Jack: They know he can beat their little hand picked champ anytime he pleases. Don't believe me? Just watch the last edition of Turmoil where Ed beat Jackson fair and square right in the middle of the ring.
Jack: But did Ed stop there? Oh hell no! Not only does he pin the champion clean a few nights ago, but tonight he physically dominated his rival Joe Zhivago right here in front of your eyes!
More boos and a few people can be heard saying “We still love you Joe!”.
Jack: How does the front office reward this? How do they encourage him? By ignoring his existence! They don't even book him!
Jack: Yet somehow, Joe here gets a match with Jacob Trance! Instead of putting Ed against a marquee name they punish me by putting me in a match with some Lebanese lunatic named Alibaba Singh. He shouldn't even have an OCW contract! He should be in Guantanamo Bay with the rest of his kind!
The crowd oddly pops and a USA chant starts, because as we all know wrestling crowds are racist.
Jack: What part of I'm not a wrestler isn't clicking with you people? Do you even watch your The Shows! Or do you all just sit in the back having one long, continuous circle jerk over the Golden Era?
Jack: You want to punish me? Fine. Osama Singh can't do anything to me that hasn't already been done. I'll take my beating and come back next week for another one if it still doesn't register in your little mongoloid brains that I don't belong in the ring.
Jack: You want to make a joke out of me? I don't care. But when you disrespect a man like Big Ed, that's where I draw the line! This man right here is a God Damned Born and Raised American National Treasure!, LOOK IT UP!
Jack: You know, I'm sure a lot of you out there dream of being in an OCW locker room one day. Let me tell you, id rather suck a bag of dicks then spend another five minutes back there. I've never seen such a sad collection of has beens and cry babies in all my life. When I walked through that door all I heard was respect, respect, respect.
Jack: Respect what? What is this shining gold standard we're supposed to reach for? Whose example are supposed to be following? Jackson Montgomery? Ed already proved he can take him out anytime, anywhere. Kassidy Hayes? If he has the fortitude to actually show up to a booking I guarantee my man here will send his pale ass back to Transylvania or wherever he came from.
Big Ed can be seen wringing his hands together in anticipation and licking his lips.
Jack: Lets see, who else do we have? Oh! How about Malu and Seth Irving! They're in the #1 contenders match, they must be special! Expect, wait a minute, they aren't! Malu, were you supposed to be somebody once? Or are you just another fat Samoan that gets pushed ahead because your family is too stupid to do anything but wrestle for fourteen generations? Please, enlighten me!
Jack: Seth Irving! I'd like to take this time to insult you but I couldn't pick you out of a lineup if my life depended on it. The good news is I don't consider you a has been like the Riot rejects I just ran down. The bad news is, your very existence just pisses me off. And what pisses me off, pisses off my large friend here.
Big Ed smiles at the thought of dominating Seth Irving.
Jack: So who else? Where are my other shining examples of what being an OCW superstar is all about? Tank? Christ nobody in the locker room would even piss on Tank if he were on fire. I'm still waiting on a thank you card for the flowers I sent you by the way. Prick.
Jack: If you really want an example of the OCW way, let's look at a hall of famer! Smythe D. Wonder! Is this what you want us to become? Another arrogant has been that hasn't done anything entertaining in years?
Jack: A guy that you let come in here, run his mouth, and just run away again while no showing the biggest show of the year? Is that what you want? I'll happily become lazy, no show events, and take a paycheck. Where do I sign up???
Jack: You know, you old guys can keep changing your little unwritten rules. You can keep bringing in all of your old friends to pass the Turmoil title around while ignoring real talent like the beast that I'm standing next too. You can keep putting me in matches that appear to have been booked by an autistic child, I don't care!
Jack pauses and looks at the behemoth standing next to him.
Jack: I have the largest, angriest man in the industry at my side. I'm not playing by your rules anymore. Turmoil, you are officially on notice! From this day forth, you get to wrestle in Big Ed's ring only if we allow it.
Jack: You don't want to book Big Ed? We don't care! We go where we want, when we want! You want to embarrass me? We don't care! We're Teflon baby!
Jack: So producers, boys in the back, ownership I'm looking at you Mugen!, I don't care, you all need to listen very closely.
Jack: I want you to enjoy tonight. I want you to enjoy watching the same old guys in the same old matches you've been watching for years. Eat it up! Because I guarantee this is the last time. Big Ed and I are taking what's ours, and I dare you to stop us.
Jack: Big Ed! You sexy man beast, you have anything to add here?
Ed accepts the microphone from Jack and flexes a few times for good measure.
Ed: Listen up you fat, sweaty, out of shape, pieces of human garbage! Jack here is giving it to you straight! I'm a freak of nature! The nastiest man Turmoil has even seen! The future Turmoil Heavyweight Champion!
This produces the loudest boos of the segment.
Ed: Tonight was just a stepping stone. What? Did you think this little Scottish midget had a chance against me?
Ed and Jack share a hearty laugh at Joe and the crowd's expense.
Ed: You know, tonight I learned something. The women of Chicago can take a better beating than half of the “men” on the roster!
More boos, domestic violence is never funny.
Ed: C'mon Jack, we've made our point. Let's get out of this dump. First round is on me!
Ed holds his hand high as Jack has to jump a number of feet in the air to connect with a high five. Ed's music hits as Turmoil's new dominant force exits the ring.
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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What a bag of hot air! |
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That man has a point! and he isn't afraid anymore! A man with nothing to lose is the most dangerous, and a man with a giant with nothing to lose is even worse! |
The Xtron Flickers On!
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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Savage Life, how the hell do they have an animation studio? |
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They do it all! |
Malu sits on the trainer’s table getting his feet taped up as the scene fades in. He looks less like the laid back foodie he is before matches and more like the wrecking ball he can be once the bell rings. Malu hits the training table as the trainer tightens his tape just a little too tight.
Malu: Damn it! What are you trying to make me lose my foot! You might is well piss your pants now brudda cause you do that again and I’m sidekicking you.
The trainer apologies and continues to prep the big man.
Jim Black walks up to an already annoyed Malu.
Jim: Malu word has it that Seth Irving isn’t here tonight so your number 1 contender’s match will be you against Bray S. Spur, who beat you on Turmoil earlier this week.
Malu rolls his eyes.
Malu: Because I didn’t know that he beat me? The only reason he’s in the match is because of that. But it’s ok my odds of winning just went up from 100% to 150%. So I’m not going to beat you for trying to piss me off.
Malu: You see Bray hasn’t been in the spot he’s in tonight, under the bright lights of PPV. He’s gonna melt like a candle under a blowtorch. You see I’ve competed at Wrestlutions, won and defended championships, and put down hall of famers. Tonight is no pressure for me. But for him it’s everything. He thinks tonight is his defining moment. But he fails to realize that it is only the beginning because the real prize is the championship. And our match is just to get there. Jim just you watch what I do tonight.
As Malu says this the trainer tightens the tape too much again. Malu instantly grabs the trainer by the throat with ninja like quickness, only seen by the big man at an all you can eat seafood buffet.
Malu: Jim you should leave now this brudda is about to visit Pee Pee Pants City…
Jim doesn’t hesitate to leave as the scene fades.
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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Put up or Shutup Time for Malu, he's lost 3 straight and now he is up against one of the dominant rookies Bray S. Spur. |
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This match has huge implications on the Turmoil Championship Scene. |
Last Gamer Standing!
A.C Cobra vs Xander Rane
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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Good heavens can he even walk after that! |
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I doubt it! |
We turn to the scene of a local biker bar, where beers are being consumed, bikers are having a laugh, and the occasional ass gets kicked. The venue is a little larger than the average biker bar, with a stage for people to perform. A voice from offscreen can be heard announcing the next performer.
Woman: And now give it up for.....Flynn?
We see the aspiring rock star Flynn step onto the stage with his guitar in hand. He plugs it into an amp and takes a seat in the middle of the stage.
He adjusts the mic, and notices the group he's performing for; grizzled faces accompanied by tattoos all over massive arms and the inevitable BO that came along with it.
Flynn had performed in smaller venues in the past, but this was his biggest one; as shady as it looked, he'd figured that he would get some nice pay out of it. He nervously introduces himself to the crowd.
Flynn: H-Hi, I'm Flynn and I'm gonna start things off with a Scottish folk song.....
The crowd seems none too pleased with this, especially the group of four bikers sitting up at the front.
Biker: (yelling) Can't we get someone else besides this clown?
Flynn: I'm sorry, you're calling me a clown?
The biker stands up and assumes a threatening pose.
Flynn: Y'know, standing up and looking like a big, dumb goof isn't gonna help.
Part of Flynn regretted saying that; he'd already sabotaged whatever chances he had of actually putting on a performance and making some good cash. Then again, he wasn't too bad at "improvising" either.
Biker: Got a silver tongue, don't ya? Let's see you talk all that s*** when I cut that thing off!
The biker starts charging towards Flynn with his three buddies following him. Flynn stands up immediately and as the first biker gets closer, he kicks the stool towards him, causing it to crash into his knees, making the biker fall over right onto his face. The next two bikers surround Flynn and close in on him.
He uses his guitar as a weapon and swings it at the crotch of one of the bikers, causing him to go down instantly. He then notices the other biker about to throw a punch, and instinctively Flynn takes the guitar and swings it upward, inflicting major damage to the man's jaw.
Amazingly though, he's still standing, but dazed. Flynn uses the end of his guitar to nudge the man and send him crashing to the floor. The last biker sneaks up on Flynn and punches him in the stomach, the rocker dropping to one knee.
The biker pulls out a pool ball that's been wrapped in a towel. Flynn regains his footing and runs to a nearby wall. He jumps off of it as the biker is chasing him and delivers a kick right to his mouth. Several teeth are knocked out of the man's mouth.
Biker: Motherf*****, you knocked my teeth out!
The biker swings the pool ball at Flynn's head, but it misses and Flynn catches it. He then uses it to smack the man in the face, knocking several more teeth out and sending the man to the floor.
Flynn: And there go the rest of 'em.
Flynn notices that that was the last of that particular group of bikers. The others seem to sit there in silence, looking at each other. After a few seconds, they start to holler and cheer for Flynn, as that was probably the type of show they wanted to see after all. Flynn looks around and decides to pick up his guitar and play a brief song.....
Flynn: (singing)
My Bonnie lies over the ocean
My Bonnie lies over the sea
My Bonnie lies over the ocean
Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me...
Bring back, bring back
Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me, to me
Bring back, bring back
Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me
The crowd starts getting into the song despite it not being a typical favorite among the biker community.
Last night as I lay on my pillow
Last night as I lay on my bed
Last night as I lay on my pillow
I dreamt that my Bonnie was dead
Oh, blow the winds o'er the ocean
And blow the winds o'er the sea
Oh, blow the winds o'er the ocean
And bring back my Bonnie to me!!!!
Flynn belts out the last few words with a scream as the crowd starts tossing money at him. He smiles as he realizes that his work is done here. He picks up the cash and gives some of it to one of the people working there.
Flynn: For the mess I've made.
The rocker then picks up the rest of his belongings and leaves. The camera feed fades to black.
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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He's like Peter Piper, if Peter Piper was incredibly violent! |
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Shugaboogah Killer and Muscian to boot, I LOVE IT! |