Big Nerd!

Name: Guybrush Ignatious Fausto

From: Bismarck, North Dakota

Finishing Move: The Devil's Contract, Fly Fat Ass Fly, Nerd Cutter

Patented Moves: PTOSICGOOH, LINCY, Guyionsault, The Chinlock

Career Highlights: OCW Tag Team Champion,World Tag Team Champion, King of OCW 2007, OCW World Heavyweight Champion, Super S-Cup Champion 2007

Trained By: Sideshow The Klown, Nate Ortiz

"I Hate My Life!"- Guy Fausto

A Legendary Nerd!

June 9th, 1976: In the cool summer of North Dakota, a considerably delirious large woman ran into the local general hospital in Bismarck. Complaining of abdomen pains, the large woman was soon found to be pregnant, which shockingly startled the woman. The doctors were incredibly baffled at how this 31 year old woman would be so stupid not to know she was pregnant. She claimed she had been on the road for the past 8 or 9 months in pursuit of some wannabe rockstar, and that she didn't want to stop until the pain gave her no other choice. She received proper medical treatment, and soon delivered the child. However, as soon as she was left alone, they found her window open, her sheets tied together, and a few knocked over bed pans. The mother had fled the scene, leaving the child parentless.

With the hospital staff not knowing what to do, they turned to the documents that the mother had been suppose to fill out. She filled out the form very poorly, leaving her own name, and the name of her son as only marked as G Fausto. No social security number or methods of tracking her down available, they were forced to put the child up for adoption. He found a home in that town, and found his new name of Guybrush Ignatious Richards.

Guybrush grew up under the watch of Maxwell and Rebecca Richards. The couple ran into infertility problems, making them choose to adopt. Maxwell was a strict military man, and demanded strict discipline from Guy. Guy tried his best to comply to the pressures and high expectations, always bringing excellent grades home from school. But the pressure always worked on his young psyche. He worked, worked, and worked, but he never got much time to do what most kids did- not like he had much of a choice, as they were in a very remote section on the outskirts of Bismarck. Outside of school, Guy was never exposed to many kids his age. His only form of relief and entertainment came on Saturday nights- when the AWA, the American Wrestling Alliance, ran it's weekly show. As a hobby outside of school, Guy made sure to never miss it. It became his big dream. Other kids in his class wanted to be astronauts, he wanted to be the next Heavyweight Champion of the World.

The adoptive parents thought he would grow out of it. They were wrong. As soon as he turned 15, Guy snuck out and began attending live shows. It was only a matter of time before Warren Reece, a local promoter and trainer caught sight of the large teenager constantly in his crowds and mezmorized by the show. He offered Guy an opportunity to get his foot in the door of the business and Guy took it without hesitation. He kept his training a secret, and kept it for years, as he spent most of his time not spent in school or sleeping training. He made his professional debut at the young age of 16, in secret, knowing of his parents disdain of the sport.


He kept it a secret by claiming he was studying, which was partially true- he somehow studied just enough to keep up the ruse between being torn apart. Explaining being torn apart itself is another story. School fights, falling down stairs, getting hit by cars, being mauled by a wild boar- the excuses began to get ridiculous and Guy's true actions more and more became apparent. At his High School Graduation, The Richards cornered Guy and demanded an answer- either cease with this professional wrestling nonsense, or be tossed out on the street. Being young and stupid at the time, Guy chose wrestling... and has never since heard from his adoptive family since. Every attempt to make things right has been blocked on their side. Feeling ousted and betrayed, Guy reassumed his birth name of Guybrush Ignatious Fausto.

For the next 11 years, Fausto worked as hard as he could on the indie circuit. He was living on small show check to small show check. He could barely afford enough food to sustain himself, and lived in what was no more than a glorified shed on the outskirts of Bismarck. He never got anywhere, despite all his hard laborious work. He couldn't catch a break, he jobbed openings of events to whoever was the new flavor of the month for that local promotion. The dream, however, of one day being on national TV with millions upon millions of adoring fans kept him going. It's all he ever seemed to want to do with his life, and what's a toothpaste sandwich between him and glory?

Until one fateful night in 2005. Fausto was booked against a new juggernaught, the promoters son, greener than the greenest object you can think of, and then double the greenness. Fausto knew this wasn't going to be his night, but he was going to give it his all. And that he did- until the green behemoth gave him the least technically precise piledriver one had ever seen. Guy couldn't move. It was terrifying...and the behemoth didn't stop. Boots, elbows, knees, and legs came down on the helpless Fausto, and no one was coming to assist him. The promoter came in and declared the monster the winner, and that he had killed a guy in the ring. And the crowd went wild, and still no one came to assist Guy for the longest time. By some stroke of a miracle, Guy managed to regain feeling in his limbs, and pulled himself up. He staggered backstage, and tended to his many injuries. No one came to apologize. No one came to check on him. No one cared. He had almost died out there and no one cared.

What had Wrestling brought him? For the past 13 years of his life, he had been beaten, broken, and battered. What did he have to show for it? He was 29 years old, and he had done nothing with his life. And it was all the fault of professional wrestling. He had lost his family, his money, his chance at a good education...and he had almost lost his life. No more of this- he would no longer chase some dream that would never come. He would honor all of his remaining bookings and then no more of godforsaken sport. He's going to go to school and make something of himself that doesn't risk life and limb every night.

Well...so he thought. His last show was a big one in New York in the Hammerstein. Like in all of his matches since the scare, he cowered and fled from his opponents around the ring. He begged his opponents to not hurt him- however they always did. He later learned that his pleas of "Please Don't Hurt Me" came out as "I Wish to fornicate with your mother as I kick your Grandfather in the shin" which definitely explained why they always hurt him. Unbeknowst to Fausto, this act of begging his opponents off would grab the attention of what has controlled his life ever since.

A hard night of drinking and partying followed his final night- well in his own corner of the bar as he drank alone. He got absolutely hammered, to make up for the complete lack of other people drinking in his honor. He woke up the next morning, massive hangover, but feeling great about himself. This was the beginning of a brand new chapter in his life. Maybe he could become a motivational speaker and warn children about the dangers of pro wrestling. Maybe he could finally get his family to forgive him as he leaves the career they cursed behind...maybe....the phone will ring and break his focus on what to do with his life.

The phone had decided for him. He wished he was dead. He wished the person on the other side of the phone was dead. He wished that something would happen to free him. He cursed. He cursed so loud that people back in Bismarck may have heard him. Apparently during his long night of drinking alone...someone had joined him. Someone who had saw him at the Hammerstein show. Someone who liked his style. Someone who wanted him exclusively in their promotion with an iron clad contract. That someone was Jaysin Clinton Sensation. Incidentally, he has never touched an alcoholic beverage since.

After some panicking and thoughts of suicide, he calmed down. It really wasn't all that bad. All he had to do was go a few months, do the job, and he'd be granted his release as he would have accomplish nothing. Right? I mean, it's not like he'd be a run away success and be too invaluable for the company to ever dream of parting with him. That would never happen. It couldn't...could it?

It did. On December 14th, 2005; Guy Fausto made his OCW debut against Seth Aringrosa. Despite failing to emerge victorious in his debut, his neurotic antics soon won him much fanfare. Win or lose, he was the talk of the OCW world with his anti-superstar attitude, complete dislike of actual competition, and excessive cowardice. He received both OCW North American and OCW World Title shots, despite never wanting either. An impressive showing against 2005 Hall of Famer Nate Ortiz in the aforementioned OCW Championship made him someone to look out for in the ring despite having one of the worst win/loss records this side of David Jackson.

But fame came with a price. Fame itself. Guy Fausto wanted none of his attention. It was all accidental. He wanted out of the industry, yet he was becoming a superstar against his will. He begged CEO Jaysin Sensation for his release, and was time after time denied, not wanting to give up his new meal ticket. With no hope left in sight, Fausto began to look for alternate methods of accomplishing his goal. He found unstable support in his allies Majin, Mad Michael Morrison, and Casey Paine. The four called themselves the Theatre of Pain.

Using Theatre of Pain as a loophole, Fausto found temporary relief to his fear of active competition. He served as manager for the group, playing the run in man on many occasions, including one instance involving a ten gallon hat, Nathan Gaines, and mocking people with Bells Palsy. He was instrumental in bringing Steve Jones and Poison under the groups banner as well. But his meddling would not go unnoticed forever. Gaining the ire of Jaysin Sensation, the CEO challenged Majin to a match, with the stipulation that anyone who interfered in the match would be fired. Seeing a golden opportunity, Fausto gleefully ran in and dropped the CEO with a cutter. His triumph was soon cut short as Sensation revealed that Fausto was indeed fired, but not from OCW. Sensation terminated Fausto's managerial license, making him once again an active competitor.

Shockingly, Fausto's return to the ring proved much more sucessful than his first stint as an active competitor. Suffering very few losses(of notable importance is the legendary Chop & Headlock Match against fellow ToP Member Majin) and gaining the ability to make his opponents tap to a mere reverse chinlock, Fausto plowed through much of the OCW midcard, fulfilling the prophecy some saw after the March '06 OCW Championship Match vs. Nate Ortiz.

During this time, Fausto and Theatre of Pain were in conflict with Revolution Inc. Fausto developed specific problems with Versus, who had initially stolen Fausto's bags as a harmless prank. Fausto's neurosis reemerged as his dependence on a self help book to get him through the days was exposed. In a rapidly detoriating state, he failed to defeat the stoner at September 2 Remember 2006. Casey Paine, in a effort for her own sanity, recovered the self-help books. But Fausto's conflict with Versus were not over. Fausto, newly invigorated from his recovered self-help book celebrated by reading the Necronomicon and taking it entirely too seriously. He gathered the ToP troops and began to horribly screw up the reading of the reanimation spell over the casket where Nate Ortiz was knocked out in after a grueling bout with Mayhem. With the help of Michael Morrison and a well placed shovel strike, Zombie Nate was born. Despite Fausto being the supposed Necromancer, Zombie Nate would completely ignore his orders despite following the rest of ToP's orders without question. Versus did not find his heavily concussed friend being the lackey of his enemies amusing, and made several attempts to recover him from ToP's grasps. The two met again at Devil's Night 2006 in a Last Dork-Or-Stoner Standing match, with Fausto emerging victorious after a grueling 40-minute battle. Nate snapped out of his concussion-induced waking coma, and beat the hell out of Fausto for his crimes.

Fausto became excessively paranoid of the formerly zombified hall of famer, and lived in fear of him until Red Sunday, where he met his stalker in a cage match, in which Nate won by the very skin of his teeth. Also on Red Sunday, Theatre of Pain and Revolution Inc. did battle in a massive gauntlet. Despite Theatre of Pain's defeat, Fausto was the clear MVP of the match, defeating Versus, Tyler Ewanchuk, and Nick Kage before falling in an incredibly weakened state to Nate Ortiz once again. Fausto then claimed his sudden bursts of inring skill were blackouts, some self-defense mechanism for the coward. Seeking to test this phenomena further, he did something incredibly out of character and challenged Nate Ortiz to a rematch at Chill Faktor after sending Michael Heaton to get the snot beat out of him many times for an answer. Fausto, despite revealing to the world that Nate Ortiz hated the black people, kicks puppies, and is responsible for the Bubonic Plague wiping out Europe in the 13th century, failed against the then two-time OCW Champion in an Ironman match.

Fausto soon found himself by happenstance the Number One Contender for the OCW Television Championship. Making it clear he wanted nothing to do with the belt, he threw the match against champion Trips, focusing his attention more on CEO Jaysin Sensation in a more direct approach to get fired. Making the CEO blow up his limo, assaulting him with nets and Poison dressed as lawyers, it built up, but someone else caught Fausto's attention.

Recon, another Hall of Famer, who Fausto was using for explosives to antagonize Jaysin Sensation, had enough of his shenanigans. In a move to protect his honor, the soldier met Fausto at the yearly patriotic event Road 2 Glory. He failed to defeat Fausto, but lost with honor. Later that night, Fausto finally snapped and gave Sensation a vicious beating, the likes of yet to be seen in OCW.

The score was set to be settled at OCW Wreslution II, with Fausto's freedom from his contract at stake. Despite seemingly having victory well within his grasps, Fausto was said to have taken his assault of the CEO too far, gaining the spite of former Revolution Inc. Member Blade. Blade cost Fausto his freedom, and for his charity, Blade had a statue dropped on him. The grudge was on, as in the mean time Fausto captured his first OCW championship in the World Tag Team Championships with Michael Morrison. The change of heart was said to be for some yet unrevealed sinister plan. At End Games 2007, Fausto & The Steve, filling in for Morrison under the Freebird rule, fought Blade & Nate Ortiz to a controversial draw. Blade & Ortiz would later capture the tag titles in a ladder match during the following month on Riot.

Fausto then began his run through the King of OCW 2007. He defeated his own tag partner, Michael Morrison, Adrian Bold, Trips, Brad Bauer, and finally DJ Chino in the finals to earn himself the rights to a OCW World Heavyweight Championship Match. The same night he ended his rivalry with Blade dominating him in a steel cage match. Following Damnation 2007, Fausto revealed his latest plot to achieve termination from OCW: He was going to take the OCW World Heavyweight Championship and under mutually assured destruction, breach his contract and burn the title live on a competitor's television program.

Until an accidental suspension put that on the sidelines briefly. Sensation had a lapse of wisdom and forgot not to use conventional punishment on Fausto, and ended up suspending his #1 Contender, who moved far too quickly away to stop Sensation from changing his mind.

But he soon returned, and began to antagonize then Champion Nate Ortiz with his threats of disrespecting the belt which he called a mere prop to the downfall of OCW, going through extreme measures to drive his point home. At The Clash in July 2007, Fausto met Ortiz for the title. In a shocker, Sensation turned on Ortiz and helped his enemy of over a year grab the Championship, despite his threats to destroy OCW.

Fausto revealed his alliance with Sensation as a much better deal for all of them, and developed a taste for horribly gaudy suits. He had to deal with two rabid challengers after the title who couldn't be procrastinated away by Sensation due to rematch clauses. Nate Ortiz and AJ Phoenix both wanted the title, and the three met at Summertime 2007, where Phoenix pinned Ortiz, causing Fausto to lose the Championship without even being involved in the decision.

Fausto attempted retirement the following Riot, but was denied by Sensation turning on him, as well as his former Theatre of Pain allies snubbing him as well. Fausto had a nervous breakdown from the incident, and spent many weeks being the walking definition of 'Emo.' With the help of former rival Versus, Fausto snapped himself out of it and turned his attention on vengeance against those who had wronged him, primarily Mad Michael Morrison, whom he defeated in a Twisted Steel Mustache Warfare Match at September 2 Remember 2007. The grudge continued, Morrison not accepting his defeat to such a pathetic competitor. He competed in another innovation, the House of Pain, at Devil's Night 2007, in which Fausto emerged victorious, having to defeat Morrison with his own Grip of Madness.

In November, Fausto competed in the 2007 S-Cup, and in a single night defeated Seth Irving, OCW Champion AJ Phoenix, and CCW Champion RD Money to win the cup. During that month, old friends turned into enemies once more, as Poison sought to once again make Fausto his subordinate much like he did in the old ToP days. Fausto refused, having moved on from the group and wanting nothing to do with them. Not being one to take no for an answer, Poison antagonized Fausto into accepting a match for Chill Faktor 2007 where if Fausto lost, he would have to join Poison's cult. Fausto did lose the match, but under dubious means from a 101% clean sweep in the voting making Poison's lackey Gertrude the official for the match.

Guy Fausto is easily one of the most bizarre cases in OCW History. Desiring nothing, expecting less, he received so much more than he could ever dreamed of getting- which he still wants none of. Apathy, Lethargy, Nerdiness are not suppose to be adjectives you use to describe a wrestler who has reached the pinnacle of the business, but in this case, they are.